Barnes Boys - Where They At?

In the third month of it and I both LOOOOVE summer and HAAAATE summer...love the unstructured days, late nights, lots of good weather and having all 3 of my boys with me all day with no where to be...and then there is the busy side of summer- of weekends completely gone...travels...work being crazy...that stuff. So far this summer has been really good to us. I am shocked I have been able to keep up. I know my future self is going to thank me for carving out some time to do this!

Bryson -

Since I last udpated he traveled to North Carolina to compete in the Pinehurst U.S. Kids Jr Golf World Tournament. He was amazing! He had a rough first day and shot 11 over...but the greens were rolling fast and not too many kids shot under, so it was still a good score. He got progressively better - shot a 43 the next day and then a 40 on the last day. He ended the tournament at T63 on the leaderboard out of 140. My dad went with Bryan and Bryson and couldn't stop remarking on how incredible BOTH of my boys are. He went on and on about Bryan and how patient he is with Bryson and couldn't believe how well he handled Bryson's EMOSHUNZ. Bryson can be a little golf diva! he is working on controlling his temper and trying not to go into the next hole with a bad attitude. I am so incredible proud of him. Not just how well he did at this tournament - i truly wouldn't have minded if he came in last...it's just that he has worked so hard. and has sacrificed so much - and at eight years old I don't know if he knows just how remarkable all that is. Bryson has been filling his time since being back by FISHING!!!! he is probably as passionate about fishing as he is about golf...if that can be possible. He keeps track of all the fish he catches and has been keeping a tally all summer...i think he is in the forties now...crazy kid.


Bodie -

Bodie and Bobby both went to VBS while Bryson and Bryan were at Pinehurst. He really enjoyed the music and the VBS in general. That boy is so musical. He likes to listen to a song over and over and over until he gets the words down and is constantly singing/dancing and making up raps. "Cold 9" and "Now I'm Doing This, Now I'm Doing That" are his top 2 songs of the summer. Bodie was super happy to have Bryson back. he was also super sensitive to all the positive feedback he got and cried at one point when Auntie came over and told him how proud she was of me, he melodramatically cried, "Why is no one proud of me?" oh Bodie Bear! I get it...I'm a middle child too. I hugged him extra close and told him how insanely proud of him I am for he has the biggest bestest heart I know. Poor bug. He has been really trying to help me out around the house too. He recently discovered that earning $2 will earn him a Popsicle at farmer's market, so it is on!


Bobby -

 He said, " Take a picture of me mom! I'm the cutest!" well...don't tell him but its true :) this kid is just all kinds of cute. little cheeseball! He also enjoyed VBS. i was pretty excited to find one that took 3 and older. I needed childcare that week because bryan was going to be gone and i needed to work. With the help of friends I was able to get completely caught up at work, which is no small feat in the heat of summer! I got a letter home from VBS that bobby had accepted Jesus into his heart...i asked him if he knew what that meant "It means Jesus is in your heart. And God. And the Bible" so...basically...no. Ha! He was just thrilled to finally go and was all smiles every day and told everyone, "I get to go to VBS!" so cute! Soccer is starting up for Bodie and Bryson and this guy doesnt understand why he can't do it too. It is so hard...he stood on the corner of the field watching Bodie with such yearning it made my mama heart sad...but then again - 3 kids in organized sports??? that is just bananas. both bodie and bryson practice 2 nights a week...how would you even do that with 3? i guess we will find out soon enough, huh?

Barnes Boys - Where They At?

Summer - I love you, but please slooooooow down! We have been so busy this month! Some family updates since the last post - we went on our annual camping trip to the Sierras (which was awesome...and i won!)  then Bryson left for San Jose as soon as we got back, which he spent the next 2 weeks doing tennis camp with meema (among a million other things with both his meema and papa - hopefully this makes it into his summer journal that he is a month behind on). Having only Bodie and Bobby felt oddly like a mini vacation - but it also made me realize how much i rely on Bryson to keep his brothers at peace. He gets them breakfast in the morning and he really helps with them both in general. We also commented how much we missed Bryson's enthusiasm for life - it was a total different vibe when he wasnt there...it felt right to have him back. And as soon as he got back - tournament then another tournament then another...its been golf month for sure with Pinehurst next week! Eek! While Bryson was gone we celebrated 4th of July and my niece Riley turning 2, then 2 days later our anniversary, then 2 days later our dear friends from Portland came to town and we were able to have a night out and adult conversation (what?) and then a couple days later we camped for Bryan's birthday in Avila and met up with his folks. The next week the boys had VBS then it was off to La Quinta for a golf tournament. We have been putting the miles on the cars this summer!

Bryson - so...golfing and fishing have pretty much been bryson's world this month. It is rare that a day goes by that he hasnt done one or both of these things! right now he is fishing with his dad at crystal cove and as of last report he had caught about 12 little sharks! all weekend he fished at the pond in back of my dad's house and caught about 30 fish over 3 days- catfish and sunfish and small mouth bass. it was nuts! one catfish was probably close to 7 pounds. As good as he did fishing, he also did golfing! he got his best score ever on day 1 of the tournament - 35 - 1 under par!!! both bryan and my dad said this was the most difficult course he has played too, which made me even more proud! he had a tougher time the second day with a 43 but pulled it together on the third day with a 39 to finish in 3rd place at a World Championship! The boy who won was from Thailand and won the Jr. World previously - he gave bryson a little elephant magnet that said "Thailand" on it- so cute! Also this month I was able to take Bryson on a date- tennis, then golf at little rec and a clam dinner - so fun! 

Bodie - i got to spend a lot of time with bodie when bryson was gone - and boy that kid took full advantage of being the older brother! he got super bossy pants. more and more he is really trying to defend the rules - but really only when it is someone else...he still struggles with following direction himself...sigh...those middle kids! He loved having his brother back too. Bodie is really sensitive to everything you say and I need to remember to choose my words wisely because they go a long way with him. When you pour words of encouragement into him you can see his entire countenance change. Also when you are cross with him, it takes him to a different place. I am really working on my sensitivity with this boy - he is a good teacher for someone like me who has a hard time filtering!

Bobby has also had a lot of attention - both bryan and i got to spend mornings alone with him while his older brothers were at VBS and we both had so much fun! i took him one day to a trampoline place and jumped with him for an hour and a half and one day bryan bought him a special outfit and took him mini golfing - bobby is so easy to spoil! he is too fun! 

Barnes Boys - Where They At?

How is it June already? Every summer I just feel like I need to buckle up and hold on- everything seems such a crazy pace - packed weekends, SUPER busy work days, balancing our schedule and over-planning. I never feel caught up - I never feel like I have done enough in one day. This summer I really want to schedule out peaceful simple days to counter balance the super paced work days. Also - I want to be present in these amazing times where I get to adventure with all 3 of them all the day long! It truly feels like such a precious fleeting time and I am doing my best to stay present minded and grateful.

Bobby!! I took Bobby on a date this month to a putt putt place (his choice) and he was so funny. I honestly didnt know how he would do since some times he can not be held to "rules" and "doing things in order" but this he did really really well! i think it has something to do with all the golf mornings with daddy - so thanks bryan! On our date he confided that "I dont like when daddy calls me other names - like Bob" - which is funny because i am the one who usually calls him that when he is being mischievous :) and then we went to CPK and he told me how he is sad school is over. It is so fun to get to spend time with him by himself - he is such a different person when he isn't trying to defend himself :) 

Bodie O! Bodie finished baseball. He played so great. Watching him play kept me thinking about how different bryson and bodie are. Bryson at this age/stage was super serious about baseball. he asked anyone to play catch with him and practiced all the time. he loved his games and would talk about them all day. Bodie is like...hmmmm....when i asked him what he liked best about t-ball his response was "the snack bags" so...there is that. But at the same time - he is so good! its funny...you think he will get out there and just zone out, but he makes plays and hits home runs...oh bodie. Bodie also graduated from pre-school. Pretty cute stuff right there. I am getting pretty worried about bodie in kindergarten - he is just so different than bryson was at this age and I just worry that kindergarten would be overwhelming for him. I filled out an application for Bodie to bryson's home-school charter school just in case...so i am feeling better about that - we can always pull him out if the struggles aren't good struggles. Also - we have been down to visit my dad in La Quinta a few times over the past couple months and it has been great for practicing swimming. Bodie did so great last time! We went down to watch Bryan's mom play tennis - and win her doubles match - and she helped bodie learn to float and improve his dog-paddling/swimming thing he does. I am pretty confident he will be a little fish by the end of the season! 

Bryson - Bryson is still golfing like a mad-man. He was in a tournament for Long Beach Jr Kids Golf and got a 36 at little rec, which turned out to be a 3 way tie. There was a putt off for the win and Bryson won! He was so super pumped - so proud of himself. he slept with his trophy and kept staring at it all day long. It turned out they had the best scores of all the kids - about 25 kids ages 7-16! I walked with them, but didn't club him - he did it all on his own and I couldn't be prouder of him! 

Bryson is getting excited about home-schooling. We got him a little chromebook to keep his summer journal in and found all kinds of educational sites that will help aid our homeschooling and he is already so excited about being able to research things he is interested in...which right now is golf and lizards. We started his summer journal - you can follow it by clicking here

Being Intentional - An Update

Something I struggle with is being intentional. I am a pretty fly by the pants type of gal - so planning and thinking ahead are a struggle for me - it is also something I wanted to work on personally since last year I found so much satisfaction in meal planning and summer planning. It really made a difference on the entire family dynamic and flow when i took the time out to be thoughtful in my planning. So - I wanted to take it a step further this year and commit to dating every boy in my family. What this looked like was every month of of the kiddos got to have special time with me alone. The first time I picked what we did and the second time I let them choose. With Bryan - we have been taking turns once a month doing a more planned date than dinner or a movie...something different or new or special to be intentional and discover new things. We will be celebrating 13 years in a little over a month, so it can be difficult to stretch out of your comfort zone - but it has been so so fun. I wanted to recap everything so far for posterity and inspiration!

Bryson: I took Bryson in January to Bower's Kids Museum. It was kind of a bust. I had never been before and thought it was bigger than it was. We only spent like an hour there and we were both over it. We did every room and every activity and were like, bleh. I felt bad the museum was such a dud that I took him to the $2 theater in Santa Ana and let him pick Panda Express at the food court for dinner. So I think it made up for it. On our second date in April, Bryson really wanted me to golf with him. So we played Little Rec and then went to Sushi Studio for dinner. I am really enjoying going with Bryson golfing. It is something I have future goals for since this is a way I will be able to spend time with all my boys when they get older. I have learned that boys desire shoulder to shoulder friendship and golf is a great game that allows that type of non-pressure conversation and friendship to happen and it is making me fall in love with it...even though i am awful...even though it is a frustrating game...even though i still find it pretty high on the boring scale.

Bodie: In February I took Bodie to a putt putt place (my choice) and then we ate pizza - in May I took Bodie to a putt putt place (his choice) and we ate at Islands. Bodie is hilarious on a date. He is so different one on one than with his brothers. He is very reserved and quiet, but when you are still and let him have a long time to think he will surprise you with his thoughtfulness and what is on his mind (much like his father!)

Bobby: In March I took Bobby to Pretend City in Irvine. Bobby destroyed that place! I realized that Bobby indoors is kind of insane (unless maybe a bounce house type place?) He was all over the place - I wanted him to discover each station and take his time playing at each one and NOOOO....he was like - look a store - whiz, bang everything off the shelf, run for the door - onto the farm - take out all the fruit on the trees, try to dig a million holes, and zoom onto the plumbing part...etc etc - i was EXHAUSTED at the end. Like exhausted. I forget where we had dinner. i was pooped! I am supposed to take him somewhere in June - he wants to go to a putt putt place, but I can not imagine him being able to do mini golf...maybe the bouncing place would be better?

Bryan: We have had fun! There have been intentional dates just the two of us, but some of our most fun and memorable times has been for birthdays. In January we went roller skating. In February I got a groupon for a clay wheel class. In March we had an evening in the most amazing house in LB for a 30th birthday. In April Bryan took me overnight to a fancy dinner movie theater and hotel on the beach. In May we went to Groundlings in LA for a night of comedy improv and to our total shock of awesomeness Kristen Wiig was in the cast! Such a blast - we laughed the entire time! Other memorable dates include a birthday for Julie at the Monarch Bay Beach Club - dinner and smore's under the sky in front of the ocean in the sand - such a fun and wonderful night. A Clippers game where we sat in the Second Row!! thank you to his cousin for that! A night out in Palm Springs where we could take our time and enjoy conversation. We have been blessed with a lot of wonderful occasions and great friends- who throw great parties!

Barnes Fam - Where We all At - April

Man - I know it has only been a few weeks since I last posted, but in that short time we have driven over 2,000 miles!! Earlier in April we learned that Bryans paternal Grandma Pearl passed away and so we made our way up to Sacramento (and then San Jose) to celebrate her life. The whole family met a bowling alley (bowling was one of her passions) and after we met and shared a delicious meal and shared stories of her life and the siblings spoke. It was so nice to see his family - We haven't had a family reunion for a few years and so this is the first time a lot of them had met Bobby in person, so it was so fun to reconnect and laugh and dance and eat together! 

The Barnes siblings

Did I get them????

Bryson has been practicing like crazy. He is really on a roll right now and there is no stopping him! Yesterday at his tournament he got 2nd place - which has not happened for a long time and he was so proud! (so were we!) We also learned that he was accepted to The Pinehurst U.S. Kids Golf World Championships. He was beyond thrilled! About a year ago Bryson watched the documentary Short Game and decided that would be him the next year and he made it happen! This won't be a cheap event, but my dad is sponsoring the hotel stay and my brother is sponsoring the plane tickets - so blessed to have their support! Oh and Bryson is putting $100 of his own money toward the tournament fee. 

Bodie - Bodie has been busy with play dates and torturing the cat and school. He has this really funny rap he does called "the cold 9" and sometimes busts it out for people...plus he listens to the kids bop station and knows every top 40 pop hit right now. he is definitely my most musically inclined child and it always surprises me because he isnt typically an entertainer. we want him to record his rap for reals because he is going to want to see that when he gets older - it is too cute!

Bobby - Bobby has been just so super sweet lately. I dont know if it is because he is almost 4, but that kid is so fun right now! the only complaint i have is the amount of mess cleaning i have to do with that kid, but i will take that over tantrums and emotional fits any day! 

Barnes Boys - Where They At? March

I am going to go ahead and title this update March, even though it is technically April, because then I only skipped one month of the updates, ha! I haven't been so inspired to write, not sure why. I haven't been inspired in a lot of areas - working out, sewing, cooking, crafting...and I am so okay with that. I know it will come back - I will do those things again with passion one day (maybe) soon...but for now - I am just keeping busy on all kinds of fronts. I am keeping up with being intentional though - happy to report - Bryan and I have been on 2 intentional fabulous dates  - I have been on dates with all three boys - Bryson to the Kids Museum and a movie - Bodie to a mini golf course and Bobby to Pretend City. I have been writing hand written letters every week. It has brought a lot of little blessings to my life and I know I will never regret taking the time to do these things. I am also being intentional with my self and trying to listen to that small still voice and be more present. I am also failing a lot. I lost it on the two littles the other day - trying my darndest not to yell, but man - those two and their constant fighting puts me over the edge...my house is a big giant mess too...i had every intention of a big spring clean fest and yard sale and it is looking more and more like that will never happen. this bothers me because clutter bothers me and every room seems so cluttered to me - but i just am kind of living in the chaos because we are rarely home on the weekends to take care of it. Learning to give myself an extra dose of grace and know that it will eventually happen.

The month of March for me (and us) was equal parts amazing and heartbreaking. My Grandpa Wally passed away, but as sad and horrible and heart wrenching that is - the memorial service was so great - really restorative for my family and there has been such amazing light showing through those cracks, it is hard to be sad for too long when you dwell on that. I also got to get away with my mom and sister(s) to Carlsbad for a weekend - also a girls day with my Westmont girls to the Getty- lets just say i am trying to balance out all this very boy time with plenty of girly girl time! I have a supportive husband who understands my plight :) This month I started caddying Bryson once a week and he started giving me lessons - I am just throwing up a white flag and giving in to this whole golf thing. I figure I will need to if I ever want to spend time with my boys when they are older.

Bobby!! I swear, like 5 times a day either myself or Bryan exclaim, "Bobby is such a rad kid!" I was watching him at the beach yesterday afternoon just absolutely delighting in him - his big teethy smile, his amazing chest forward all out run, his giggle, his lightening fast pace, his jumping in the water then running to cover himself with sand, just everything. He can be equal parts a stinker, don't get me wrong - but just such a joy of a kid! We were at a birthday party for his best buddy and there was a skateboard and all the adults were just watching him and laughing and I decided there needed to be a bobby reality show - he is so entertaining. Bobby has been playing all kinds of sports - loves baseball right now. He is still committed to his paci and "baby" and that needs to probably change, but I know it will be the end of him napping and when that happens, 4:00pm will be when hell on earth happens in the form of cranky bobby. I heard someone casually remark that the youngest child always shirks responsibility on other people, and that stuck with me, because I can totally see why that happens. I am trying to be more conscious of that with him and stick to my guns (which is hard with the third) and make sure he finishes whatever I make him start :) 

Bodie O!! Bodie started T ball - The Marauders. It is his first time playing baseball and this is my first baseball season where I can actually watch a baseball game. For the last 3 seasons I chased babies or nursed babies or both. So I am enjoying this and Bodie is such a slugger - every game I hear people talking about him and how good he is and I make sure to tell him. I think sometimes he feels...actually I know sometimes he feels like he is in his brother's shadow because Bryson gets so much attention for golf, but this kid is going to be amazing all on his own and I tell him so every chance I get! We do coach pitching for t-ball and bodie hit one the other game and it hit the fence! which is not done often in t-ball! he was really proud of himself! he is also making friends and goofing off every chance he can get too! 

We have had some struggles with pre-school and listening and sitting still and I struggle with that in him as well. Trying to find a balance between what is absolutely normal for a boy and for a bodie and also expectations on how to behave. I navigate these waters very carefully. Bodie also likes to fixate on things - that first picture of him is at a physical (for Kindergarten enrollment!) and he thought he was going to get a shot and he was freaking out and crying and trying to escape for 2 hours. Turns out he didnt need one so that was all for nothing (sigh). Also trying to figure out how to navigate that whole thing as well. 

Bryson! Can you see him...teeny tiny kayak-er! Bryan found a (brand new) kayak at a yard sale for $75 last week! so we have been itching to take it out for a spin and a gorgeous day yesterday made us do just that! it fits inside my car so i will be able to take it out by mysefl (i struggle with tying anything to the roof of my car) So excited to get some arm muscles!!

Bryson has been golfing like a mad man. He has been practicing every day - I have gotten to go out with him a bunch. He has been trying to work on not losing his stuff when he misses a birdie putt or makes a bad shot - and Bryan said at his last tournament he played great and held it together amazing, so maybe I can proclaim progress? we shall see. Golf is such a great spot for learning patience and self-control. also integrity. I am so proud of this kid though - for his determination and his drive and his focus. He got third place last week and it was such a show of how hard he has been working - so proud! He has a couple weeks off and I am trying to get him to do other things than golf...but seriously its all the kid wants to do! He didn't complain about kayaking though - he fished off of it yesterday - so fun! Also should mention - he shot 2 under on the back nine at Heartwell and got his best score (38) at little rec this month! 

Other big bryson news - we have decided to homeschool him next year. After beginning this school year and Bryson asking every day and me thinking in my mind, no friggin way...we have come to this. it is both scary and super exciting. He hasn't had the best experience this year and HATES hates hates school, so learning how to LOVE learning again for him is top priority for me! We will be doing some classes in a classroom, classes with friends, private tutoring with Auntie and of course lessons at home. I think he is going to have so much fun! Bodie is already asking to be home schooled too...and I have considered it, but don't think I have the personal time to teach him the basics of reading/writing. We will see how this year goes and how well it fits in with our business, etc. 

Grandpa Wally

My dear Grandpa passed away last week. I was asked to write a paragraph in memory of my Grandpa Wally. I instantly became overwhelmed by that idea since it is not in my nature to be "brief". I look at the photo above and i remember that shirt he wore. I remember before he retired always smelling like oil. Motor oil mostly. I remember his hands - being a running joke in our family because they were always so dirty. Even now when my oldest son comes home from playing at school, his hands filthy and dirt caked under it nails, it simultaneously grosses me out and makes me fondly remember my Grandpa. Funny how that is.

What I think my Grandpa's legacy was - was the way he loved life - the way he loved people. I remember he used to talk to EVERYBODY. if we were sitting waiting for a table at a restaurant - he would strike up a conversation with the person next to him. Elevator? he would talk to you. It made an impression on me because its not an easy thing to do when you get older. It is vulnerable. But he genuinely cared about people- yes, even strangers. Also - he made an impression on me that there was nothing beneath him. I remember a sermon I heard in high school in which the priest was describing a Bishop cleaning off tables before a church event and he asked the Bishop if there wasn't something else he should be doing and the Bishop told him, "There is no service too small" - it made me think of my Grandpa. I know when my parents would leave for the weekend and if Grandpa and Grandma watched us my dad would leave a To Do list for Grandpa. That is how he loved - he took care of his people. You had a cat that needed to be put out of its misery? Grandpa was there with a shovel in 10 minutes. You had a garage door that didn't work? Grandpa would come down and take care of it.

You know how you go to a play and it is amazing and the sets are incredible and the singing is amazing and at the end the actors take all the credit, but really if you were to take away all the work that the people behind the curtain did, it would have been a cheesy living room production. I think of my Grandpa like that - he was a backstage worker and was fine not receiving the credit, even if he was the reason for the amazing play.

I am very thankful to have grown up so close to my Grandma and Grandpa. I am thankful for the values he helped me to instill by seeing the very ways he practiced them (not necessarily preach). I am thankful for the stories I will continue to share with people. Stories that before seemed sad to share because it was a reminder that my Grandpa was not able to do and be the person he was before- but now it is a celebration since he is up in Heaven playing pranks and belly laughing. I can't wait to see you again Grandpa! In the meantime, I will just continue to share about your life and how you loved and try to make you proud (since I know I was your favorite :) )