Easter Brunch-E-Que

We celebrated this Easter Holiday with our college buddies in Santa Barbara for the annual Brunch-E-Que. Although this has been going on for (i believe) 8 years..this is only our third time joining in the fun! (Read about 2011 here and here 2010 here - oh my goodness how big our boys are now!).

We started the day with Easter service at All Saints Episcopal Church. It was a beautiful service and Bryson stayed in big church with us and asked me all sorts of questions. I was happy he could experience a liturgical service and hope that we can continue to introduce him to different ways to worship. After church we headed back to a friend's house for brunch and egg hunting and then eventually dinner. The day was a bit rainy and curbed our park plans, but it was very low-key day - and i feel like i was able to catch up with almost everyone...which is always an amazing goal since we also have 10 little ones running around through it all!

Whenever I am doing our statements and invoicing for our business I turn on This American Life (this will be related, promise) because the whole process lacks brain power...This last one I listened to was on Tribes (listen to it here) and I told Bryan - this is our tribe. It is just nice to have a group of people that you truly feel like you belong with. And how sweet it has been to be in this child-rearing phase with them - and watch our littles hunting eggs together. so fun!

Barnes Boys - Where They At

Bobby - Bobby has been learning new words at such an amazing rate. Every day he seems to have a new expression and some new word he learned. Right now he says "dang" a lot and its pretty stinkin cute. We try to get as much of him on video that we can, but its hard with this butterfly. He likes to entertain us with "zombie baby" and his amazing dance moves. Him and Bodie are learning how to navigate their play time with each other...they are not the best of playmates right now. Bodie has trouble understanding not to take every single thing from Bobby...luckily Bobby is pretty good at holding his own "I no like that, Bodie" is a frequent phrase one hears most mornings. 

Bryson started baseball up again. His best friend Asher is on the team - which makes this year so exciting for him. At the last game he hit two home runs! He is playing so well- and also having a lot of fun...because i wouldn't do it if he wasn't...The cutest is that Bryson helps dress Bodie in his baseball stuff from last year every game. Bodie has to wear his Pirates uniform every game. Looks like this baseball thing isn't leaving us...we will be spending a lot of time at these fields! 3 kids doing games - i reckon we will be at the fields every day! oy! Also - Bryson has some new obsessions over the last couple of months - Basketball at school has now replaced tetherball. He plays for about 2 hours every day, plus gets home from school and plays. He also is obsessed with his skateboard and going to the skate park. Bryan is less than thrilled about this - i am waiting until my broken bone heals, before I frequent there again - only one major injury at a time is my motto!

Bodie O - Bodie has been doing basically anything Bryson does. Bryson loves basketball, so naturally Bodie too. The best thing I have seen is that Bodie is now able to play catch with Bryson - they have been playing together so well (for the most part) which makes it easier to deal with the not-so-brotherly-love between Bodie and Bobby right now. Bodie has been sad about me being down. He likes our time together and I can't be there as much and he being the closest thing to a "mama's boy" I have - I know it has been difficult.

These boys are so much fun. So much work, but so much fun! I am constantly feeling blessed to have them - for all they are - God knew what He was doing giving me boys, I think. :)

Broken and Healing and Learning - An Update

I just saw my last post was from January. Oh my. So much has happened since then! but such is life. I feel like a bit of an update is in order!

February brought so much fun for me. I was able to celebrate all kinds of birthdays - for Ruth, for Rashelle and for Julia. And lucky for me- each of those celebrations included girls only! 2 of them were overnight ordeals and 2 included museums and dinners and amazing kid-free adult girly conversation. I walked away from each event so blessed to have such amazing women a part of my life. I feel like with all the men and boys I have to deal with on a daily basis, there is always an exhale when I get to spend time with good girlfriends. There is such an ease of understanding and relating that just is missing with men :)

February also brought a special visit from Bryan's parents, the fun of Valentines - a very special date for Bryan and I at the sky room- A family Valentines celebration - a Clippers game....




The very end of February, however, I broke my ankle - I was trying to slide into the skate park to retrieve a scooter, and my right foot buckled and I heard a "pop" - a truly horrifying sound...i knew it meant nothing good. Luckily, my phone was in my back pocket - I was able to call Bryan and prop myself up on a skateboard and wheel myself over to the stairs and use the rail to hop out of the park and wait for my husband to come rescue me...It was awful and one of the more painful experiences I have had. Tomorrow will mark 6 weeks from the initial accident and I have come so far, but I still feel like I have so much farther to go. Turns out, I am not the best patient (no surprise there) and also turns out, my husband is amazing. I was blown away by the support of friends and family. My mom flew out the day of my surgery (A titanium plate and 6 screws to hold together a displaced fibula fracture) and helped fill in my spot and took care of us all so well. It has been a definite shift in the norm - it means me in the office more- our kids at the house more (which is not so conducive to business getting done) and me having to let go of all kinds of things...like messes...like laundry...like driving.

I am not always the person to try to make sense of everything - I am an optimist - I will admit - but sometimes crappy things just happen and there are lessons to be learned, sure, but it gets disheartening when other people try to make sense of it all for you - "maybe God was telling you that you needed to rest" - that kind of thing. it bugs me. God could have used a different way to tell me that...like something that actually allowed me to rest...i haven't slept through the night in a month - i have been wearing my boot to bed - and there is no comfortable way to sleep in that thing! but that aside, I have been trying to be open to this lesson. An over-riding aspect that have helped keep my spirits up (it has been my biggest challenge just to fight depression on a daily basis) is that I am surrounded by amazing community. My friends have been picking my kids up and dropping them off various places...my MOPs mamas have been bringing our family meals - which have been a true blessing! My mom sacrificed her time to be Carlee 2.0 for a week. My husband has been doing everything he normally does, plus all my duties without a single complaint (other than chastising me for trying to do too much). I don't know why/how I deserve such amazing love, but it speaks to God's love in such a tangible way - it makes me pretty teary and sappy just thinking about it.

One good thing to already come of it is my kids are doing more because I am not able to do it. There is more cleaning of their room (when I would just do it because it took me 5 minutes and them an hour of constant correcting and arguing and whining and this isn't my mess - and just too much work in general to add another battle to my day) thanks to Bryan - and also cleaning in general. Picking up and putting away. There has been less dependence on me- which is a good thing. I am starting to see that these boys are going to be useful in the future...and capable...which is such a weird thought when I feel like for the past 7 years I have been in the mode of constant caring for other people...all of the sudden there is this shift. Its simultaneously thrilling and bittersweet.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers and concerns and thoughts and meals and help with the kids and want you all to know how very special it all means to me. I am constantly amazed at the generosity of people.

(So...here we are caught up to April. I will post a Barnes Boys Update too...although I have not been venturing out much - they certainly have:) )

A Visit with Grandpa

My sister and I headed down to Escondido to visit our Grandpa Wally - He ended up in the hospital with pneumonia and then was released to a skilled nursing facility - we thought we would drive down and cheer him up with his great-grandkids. He has since been released back to his home, however he moved into an Alzheimer facility at his complex. 

It was great to be able to spend time with him - he seemed genuinely entertained by the boys...he is one of 4 boys himself, so he gets it...we also took my Grandma out to lunch and it was such a pleasure to get some time with her as well. I snapped a few pictures and wanted to make sure we captured the visit :)

Daddy Day - A Typical Barnes Experience

First up was golf at the park. Bryan set up hula hoops and gave each of the boys buckets of balls. They could win prizes by getting it in whichever hoop was appropriate for their age.

Here you can vaguely make out the sticks and hoops in the background...

Bobby is slowly learning his froggy foot :)

Next up is baseball - each kid got a turn - whoever wasn't hitting was fielding the balls or golfing

Then he took them to one of their favorite spots- the lighthouse park for some skateboarding/scooter-ing. Bobby is already trying to ollie....

Picnic at the park - (He packed the lunches FYI)

Their favorite park and this is why - the big hill that circles around the lighthouse...i close my eyes until they are all the way down...bryan does not...thankfully...

Bryan and I were talking the other night...often times we find ourselves discussing parenting...it is now our new subject that we find ourselves going back to - partly because we are constantly having to check ourselves and partly because it is our biggest stressor right now. Anyway - I was telling him the other night that when our kids are all up and grown and we are good and retired and they have kids of their own, we will have to interview them and write a book based on this experience of co-parenting the boys. It has been a very interesting experiment so far...to understate it...immensely.

Well, one totally ordinary day where I was supposed to be in the office and Bryan was on kid duty - i made a very spontaneous decision to play hookey at work. And I announced my decision after the kids were already in the car - I didn't know what the plan was, but saw a bunch of stuff in the car - so I documented the day. 

Bryan comes from a very athletic family. His mom is a pretty awesome (professional and nationally ranked) tennis player - his dad has either played it or coached it...just about every sport....and his sisters are also amazing athletes. well...that is just fine...except that i am not...i grew up dancing - our dinner conversations with my family was about our day at school and as we got older it was about politics or current events, etc - when i first sat down for a dinner with Bryan's family they were discussing whether to 2 step or 3 step hurdles. i remember this distinctly because a) i had absolutely nothing to contribute to said conversation and b) was trying to recall if i had ever even seen a hurdle in person. clearly this family had different dynamics than mine. But this has also been pretty awesome- i have this appreciation for athletics i never had before - bryan introduced me to running, which has become a love in my life. and now our children get the barnes experience. 

whenever my in-laws come visit we typically pack every bike, skateboard, roller blades, etc into the car and go somewhere...so this was a typical day for bryan, but I had to document it because a) it wasn't a special day - its what bryan does with them ALL the time and b) it is nothing like a day I spend with them. I think it is so special that three boys get to have a father around as much as they do. They do things with Bryan that I would never do - and his style is very different from mine...but then again - if we did not have the set up we did, bryson would most likely not be doing golf tournaments like he is...Bodie would not have ridden a bike without training wheels at 2 years old and Bobby certainly would not be doing ollies on his skateboard. Also - he had an amazing example of discipline in his own father. His father happens to be in charge of discipline at a High School and not only is he respected, he is also well loved. I love that Bryan is choosing to follow his example. He is tough on them, but also full of love - he is quick to apologize to them (something I am trying hard to learn- that is tough for me) and quick to forgive them. 

I have been wanting/meaning to document Bryan's golf prize box and prize wheel for a while - maybe a good motivation as a part 2 to this post, but Bryan makes it fun for them (and their friends who want prizes too) - they have the sense of practice and reward.

As you can see - I am pretty much in love with this man - pretty proud of the dad he is. it was so fun to spend a day into his way of parenting and to document part of it. 

Barnes Boys - Where They At

When I was going through the pictures from the Zoo, I knew I had to do an update post because the pictures below are so representative of all three of them right now. What a "true" portrait of each of them :)

Bodie:: Well...now I must backtrack...and say that, while I do believe this to be a true portrait of Bodie, there should also be a picture right next to it of him in time out or whining, because its either one of the two right now. But this is my blog and I like to remember the times more like this, so when I look back at mothering, this is what I remember. That joy. Bodie is such a sweet, tender soul. I mentioned his whining, but he is sincerely trying to work on it. He recently turned four and it has spawned a lot of discussion about what getting older means and subsequently a lot of discussions too on what being a good big brother means. We are so excited to see what Bodie learns this year. I believe four is such a magical age. It is definitely one of my favorite ages - their imagination! they still LOVE you! the wonder and excitement in every little thing. truly magical. Bodie is thriving in school. Making a ton of friends and apparently a bit of the class clown. We don't really NEED to put him in pre-school, but it has been so good for him, we do it for him.

Bryson:: Oh this face. this, "are you serious mom?" face. why does he not trust me? why does he think I lie about everything? Why does he question me when i try to tell him the definition of an island. You can't argue with me about the definition of an island!!! but he does...and he argues/questions/emotes on a daily basis. I was recently reading a parenting book about the importance of giving options and allowing your child to question and I threw the book across the room - so mad...i feel like that is where I went all wrong...I gave him that allowance, and now its all he does. no trust. no "okay mom" i am just dumb apparently. But really - I know/understand logically that this is a development phase and a lot of other moms of seven year olds are going through this same exact thing, but it is very, extremely, prolifically frustrating. I feel like I am in conflict all day long and at the end of the day the slightest thing sets me off. I am working on it. I know that most of this is my issue I need to work on. "You are the grown-up, You are the grown-up" is my mantra these days. 

Bobby:: Perfect picture for Bobby too. He is outgrowing the stroller, but still not understanding rules of walking like "stay by your mom" "hold my hand when we cross the street" "don't slap a dog in the face" - those kinds of simple rules that keep one safe and not dead. So he goes in the stroller a lot of the time still when there is walking around vehicles. We had my niece Hope with us at the Zoo, so we had a good ratio and he happily ran...and i mean ran...all over the zoo. Bobby is so much fun - a lot of work still and a destruction zone still, but man - what a little ray of sunshine! He had a ball at the zoo. Loved seeing the animals and tried to jump in a couple different cages...oh my...sometimes I wondered if that is where he belonged ;)

Our Christmas Break According to Instagram

Bodie turned 4 on Christmas Eve

Christmas Dinner was amazing - Bryan helped with the turkey and also make a persimmon pie...his first pie attempt and already making custom crust decorations...

Christmas present opening - so fun!

One day we took the light rail downtown and went to the Discovery Center with the kids and Bryan's parents - it was so  much fun and even though we didnt have a ton of time to explore, it ended up being the perfect amount of time and the best little excursion!

Part of my Christmas present from Bryan was a trip into the city (SF) - his parents watched the boys and we got to do all the things I love - museum, good beer, good food, dessert, back to the hotel for some book reading and getting ready for dinner, we walked to dinner and ice skated beforehand and then had an amazing dinner and a nightcap - so much fun!
The above painting is by Basquiat

This was one of my favorite things - a work in progress by Mondrian. You could see his process with the tape and hopes poked into the canvas - a fun glimpse into his creative process.

Two neat installations at the SFMoma - one was the lights ahead that followed and anticipated your movement and the other was the tile work, which was exactly 50% black and 50% white and placed in complete random order

The front of SF Moma

Cable car spotted while shopping on Market St

Skating before dinner at the Embarcadero

Chile shrimp - everything was so good at the Slanted Door

So - i brought my good camera and never took it out of the case. we managed to get a couple videos, but everything else about our Christmas break is what you see here. I was pretty pathetic at documenting our time in San Jose, but I was pretty good at being present with my kids through it - which is much more valuable, I would argue. We had a pretty amazing time - my mother-in-law woke with the kids every morning, making me feel like I was actually on some type of vacation. I felt like for the first time since I could remember I was rested. That is amazing to say. I will have to hold on to that memory because it probably won't happen for a while longer...sigh...the kids did pretty awesome too. They definitely held to a looser schedule than normal, but for the most part they rolled with it. We left San Jose feeling very grateful for family and very refreshed. It was a great way to start our little vacation!