February brought so much fun for me. I was able to celebrate all kinds of birthdays - for Ruth, for Rashelle and for Julia. And lucky for me- each of those celebrations included girls only! 2 of them were overnight ordeals and 2 included museums and dinners and amazing kid-free adult girly conversation. I walked away from each event so blessed to have such amazing women a part of my life. I feel like with all the men and boys I have to deal with on a daily basis, there is always an exhale when I get to spend time with good girlfriends. There is such an ease of understanding and relating that just is missing with men :)
February also brought a special visit from Bryan's parents, the fun of Valentines - a very special date for Bryan and I at the sky room- A family Valentines celebration - a Clippers game....
The very end of February, however, I broke my ankle - I was trying to slide into the skate park to retrieve a scooter, and my right foot buckled and I heard a "pop" - a truly horrifying sound...i knew it meant nothing good. Luckily, my phone was in my back pocket - I was able to call Bryan and prop myself up on a skateboard and wheel myself over to the stairs and use the rail to hop out of the park and wait for my husband to come rescue me...It was awful and one of the more painful experiences I have had. Tomorrow will mark 6 weeks from the initial accident and I have come so far, but I still feel like I have so much farther to go. Turns out, I am not the best patient (no surprise there) and also turns out, my husband is amazing. I was blown away by the support of friends and family. My mom flew out the day of my surgery (A titanium plate and 6 screws to hold together a displaced fibula fracture) and helped fill in my spot and took care of us all so well. It has been a definite shift in the norm - it means me in the office more- our kids at the house more (which is not so conducive to business getting done) and me having to let go of all kinds of things...like messes...like laundry...like driving.
I am not always the person to try to make sense of everything - I am an optimist - I will admit - but sometimes crappy things just happen and there are lessons to be learned, sure, but it gets disheartening when other people try to make sense of it all for you - "maybe God was telling you that you needed to rest" - that kind of thing. it bugs me. God could have used a different way to tell me that...like something that actually allowed me to rest...i haven't slept through the night in a month - i have been wearing my boot to bed - and there is no comfortable way to sleep in that thing! but that aside, I have been trying to be open to this lesson. An over-riding aspect that have helped keep my spirits up (it has been my biggest challenge just to fight depression on a daily basis) is that I am surrounded by amazing community. My friends have been picking my kids up and dropping them off various places...my MOPs mamas have been bringing our family meals - which have been a true blessing! My mom sacrificed her time to be Carlee 2.0 for a week. My husband has been doing everything he normally does, plus all my duties without a single complaint (other than chastising me for trying to do too much). I don't know why/how I deserve such amazing love, but it speaks to God's love in such a tangible way - it makes me pretty teary and sappy just thinking about it.
One good thing to already come of it is my kids are doing more because I am not able to do it. There is more cleaning of their room (when I would just do it because it took me 5 minutes and them an hour of constant correcting and arguing and whining and this isn't my mess - and just too much work in general to add another battle to my day) thanks to Bryan - and also cleaning in general. Picking up and putting away. There has been less dependence on me- which is a good thing. I am starting to see that these boys are going to be useful in the future...and capable...which is such a weird thought when I feel like for the past 7 years I have been in the mode of constant caring for other people...all of the sudden there is this shift. Its simultaneously thrilling and bittersweet.
I want to thank everyone for their prayers and concerns and thoughts and meals and help with the kids and want you all to know how very special it all means to me. I am constantly amazed at the generosity of people.
(So...here we are caught up to April. I will post a Barnes Boys Update too...although I have not been venturing out much - they certainly have:) )
No comments:
Post a Comment