sickos

we are sick...again...but on the mend...which is why i can be vertical now...and type this. and think.

i took bodie and bobby and myself to my sister's office today and she put all 3 of us on antibiotics. this is bobby's first time, but truthfully i probably should have started him on it a while ago. his lungs are gunky and gross...ditto for me and bodie. the good news about antibiotics is that after 48 hours you are no longer contagious...which our friends should be thankful for since we are going to see all of their kiddos this weekend...and i do need to see people. i realize this. i have had to cancel my dance class and MOPs and a Jr. League meeting and while that may sound like a break for me...its not. i get a lot out of each of those things and hate to miss...i think without some type of group like that (they all happen to be exclusively female BTW) i start feeling a little cabin fever.

the thing about having a sick kid...it stinks when your kid gets sick...but then you have 2 kids and they pass all sorts of stuff to each other and that sucks...but then you have 3 kids...and sickness just cycles and gets passed to both the parents too and it is a month long process...its awful. before this bobby slept through the night. i was just beginning to feel more human...i was getting motivated with zoodies and even sewed other stuff for the first time in forever...i was working out and eating SUPER healthy...oh goodness...my mom would be shocked...but like all good things...

and i know better now than to have expectations like sleeping through the night...i know better than to think my crafting motivation will last, which is why i take advantage when i do feel that way...i know better than all that, but i still feel so...so....so...i dont know...angry? frustrated? defeated?

the past 4 nights at least 2 different children of mine woke through the night...bobby is now waking 3x a night and on 2 different nights all 3 were up at different times. not to mention the past 2 nights i have had insomnia...because that is EXACTLY what i need is to NOT be able to sleep when i should be! plus - the sickness has completely killed the whole pumping thing. my fever and not being able to move from bed for about a day and a half helped that. bobby is now officially weaned. i have so many emotions over this, but i think that i have almost come to terms with it...still working through it...bryan has been a big help with this.

sorry to be so whiney...this is what happens when i get holed up in my house with 4 boys for 2 weeks and no female counterparts to release to :)

i know too that through these rough patches there is always a lesson i am learning, and i am trying to be open to that. i think down the line this time in my life will teach me something through retrospect...but right now i am just tired and sick and sick of being sick and sick of being tired!