The Lemonade Stand

Bryson had his first lemonade stand a couple weeks ago after church. he has actually begged me on several occasions to do one...but i didnt know how it would work for me to be outside with all three boys trying to keep bobby from the street...didnt sound like a fun afternoon for me. But this Sunday our neighbors were all around for some reason, we had the big gate open because we were having a BBQ and people were over and it just worked.

Bryson wanted me to make him an actual stand, but he settled for his easel. I asked him how much he wanted to sell it for and he said $1 a glass...i tried to talk him down...that seems really high bryson...but he would not be talked down. at all! i even wrote 50 cents on there and he erased it and put 100 Cents. Ha! That kid! and people totally paid it! he made $15 selling lemonade.

He did look pretty cute in his bow tie, so i think it was part of his whole gimmick. One guy drove by in his car and tipped him $5! what? lemonade stands have come a long way...just sayin...

Afterward bryan made him pay me $2 for overhead - for the sugar and cups...and my labor for making the lemonade...the lemons were gifted by our neighbors beautiful tree that partially hangs in our yard. thank you neighbor's tree...

The problem here is that it worked...so now bryson wants to go in to the lemonade business (hello! little bryan!) and thinks he needs to do one all the time. I need to be constantly one step ahead of this guy...which is getting harder each and every day!

Weekending

The Graduate! 

what a full and wonderful weekend! still recovering...need to get my second cup of coffee because that first one barely dented the brick mass that once was a brain. so excuse me if there are typos a plenty...

We started the weekend fun-o-rama with my niece's graduation party - just as i was starting to get over the fact that she is 18...boom! she graduates from High School. so nuts. I can't believe my brother has an 18 year old daughter. he seems like he is about that age himself sometimes :) but we stayed the night at my brothers and my boys love it there - swimming and getting teased by uncle jake - what more could you want?

my SIL threw the party for Katie and it was so nice - nice to see family and friends gather and have some time to actually chat (after the boys went to bed of course...before that i just kind of start a conversation and then run around chasing little people) i feel like most parties/gatherings i go to with my boys i can never fully participate at because its peppered with "MOM!" or tugging on my skirt or bruised knees or...or....or... - so its nice when we can stay the night somewhere and have some exhale time and catch up with people for longer than 5 minute spurts. There was a taco guy there too that was pretty amazing i must say. and i must...you will find that food will interject here and there because we write about the things closest to our hearts do we not? right...so...the tacos...the al pastor especially...yum! anyway...i had some amazing conversations and got to connect with people i don't usually get to. i am so excited to see what Katie does- where she goes, what she discovers. Such an exciting time of life, no?

The next day was my sister's baby shower. oh goodness - i didn't take a single photo. bad sister! i know some other people did though - so when they post them on FB i will just have to steal them :)

Such a lovely shower - thrown by my Aunt Stephanie and my cousin Missie...or Melissa, i guess - but to me she will always be Missie :) - they wrote the book on showers - every detail was touched by a loving hand - carefully put together for her because they love her and wanted to shower her with blessings and love. and they did and she was. Such a neat part for me was seeing all the women from our church growing up who raised children alongside my mom. at one point i was looking through my sister's baby book and there was a list of who gave what to my mom and so many of those women were there in that room...now giving gifts to that baby's baby...so amazing. it made me think of the women i have found in my church that i am raising babes with alongside right now. to share in that time. to have community like that - to know that these friendships will last a generation and longer - that is powerful and wonderful. i kinda feel like it might be similar to a war buddy...you go through something that traumatic and stressful together and you can't help but be kindered to each other. maybe motherhood is not like war...but you get what i am trying to say!

My wonderful husband had the boys for the day so i could spend some time with the women in my life who mean the most to me - cousins and aunts and friends and my sister of course! it was an emotional day and an amazingly beautiful shower - forever memorable!

Then...after that...it was Parent's Night Out at Bodie's school - we took all 3 boys to Bodie's pre-school from 3:30 - 8:00. we didn't have any plans...we came home from dropping them off and looked at each other, like "what do we do? its so quiet!" so then we took a nap. seriously. that is what we did with part of our PNO. sad. but also awesome. then...when we woke up we rode bikes down to 2nd street and enjoyed a meal together.  we ran into some old friends and new friends and the ride back to the pre-school i just had a big goofy grin on my face thinking about how much i love this place we live.

The next day after church we drove straight up to Ojai for a BBQ with our college friends. Our friends Jon and Anna recently moved to Ojai into the cutest little house with the best backyard. Our friends all kind of got into cooking around the same time...so its always amazing just to hang out because you know that not only do you get to be around some of the best people in the world...you also get to eat the yummiest food - julia made an awesome corn salad and that beautiful cake you see up there...rhubarb and strawberries and angel food - all from scratch...thank you...i brought some of my beer and this salad that i need to blog about and Solera brought the rhubarb strawberry crumble that i had to have seconds on...jon and anna made the most delicious salsa and roasted veggies and sangria...and everything was of course amazing. the day was lovely - there were a lot of boys (we missed you Hansens and Bartels!) but i deemed it a success that no real damage was done to the house (minus a now bubbly fountain thanks to bobby dumping a bottle of bubbles in it) and no real damage done to any of the children. are my standards now too low, i wonder? perhaps - but perhaps that is also why i am so happy!

Par Kour to School

For those of you who have never seen Bodie's goofy side...he is a nut ball!

Barnes Boys - Where They At

This is what Bobby looks like usually every day around 4:00. you see, he still eats dirt...he still puts everything in his mouth...with 3 kids these sorts of things get overlooked...with me anyway...so much has changed with bobby in the past month. he is talking like crazy now...maybe only bryan and i can understand him, but he is learning the words to everything "hair, mouth, tummy, hands, eyes" and loves this discovery of being able to communicate...he said his first sentence yesterday, "mommy, bobby wanna go outside". 

he really is the sweetest kid. the funniest, most adorable kid ever. he waves hi to everyone - he is just a little charmer, you can tell. its so funny having 3 kids all so different. bodie would just mad-dog stare at everyone with a look that said, "get outta my face" - bobby just smiles his little toothy grin and waves at you and wants to play. bryson sizes you up and tries to figure out what he can get outta you and that determines his friendly meter...he is calculating...that oldest boy...but bobby...he is the life of the party this one...

bodie is getting better about me leaving, which is nice, because i really needed to get back into going to the gym. i remember around this age bryson was really concerned too about who was watching him (me or bryan) and struggled with going to sunday school...so maybe this is an age thing and not necessarily a Bodie thing...or perhaps both. i remember when bryson would obsess over who was watching him and really get upset if it wasn't me - i was so worried that our little set up with us splitting child-care and working was going to have all these negative effects on them since they didnt have one person providing stability and routine all the time...but he grew out of it and now bryson loves it...and i can already see bodie coming around...now we just have to go through it one more time :) 

bryson and this little guy are so sweet together. he is such a patient older brother. i dont let them come out of their bedroom until 7am - they usually wake up between 6 - 6:30...i hear them though every morning and every morning i only hear bryson and bobby and bryson playing with him...so cute...my little selfish plan of getting to lay in bed an extra half hour has also this great benefit of creating forced brother play time...

bryson just finished baseball (yipeeeee!) this was an intense season. he had baseball generally 3x week if not more. i don't know what we are gunna do in a couple years. he played awesome and learned a lot, but i think we decided to keep him on farm for another year. he doesn't need to get too intense too fast! the school year is winding down and with all my whining about it, i am really going to miss kindergarten. i know 1st grade is going to be a lot different and i'm hoping we get a class that is equally great. he has an awesome teacher and quite a lot of awesome kids are in there too...i was watching them all play today and having this moment of realizing he will go to high school with a lot of them and how crazy is this whole growing up and school thing! 

bryson really likes this guy...he told me, "mom, asher is my best best best best best best friend" - their friendship is changing and i notice they tell each other secrets often. bryson bought a journal to keep "secrets" in. i asked him what they whisper to each other and he told me, "i cant tell you mom! its a secret! you dont tell secrets! dont worry, its nuthin bad" hmmmmmmmm......

Teachable Moments in Co-Parenting

I recently was turned on to this book by a friend of mine, For Better or For Work, written by the wife of the founder of Stonyfield Organic Yogurt - its a sort of guide to living with the entrepreneur. Ah! Anyone who knows me or Bryan knows this book is for me...so yeah...already started it...and already wanting to call up the author and have mimosas with her! but one major difference so far, is that she isnt as intricately involved in the business like me...i am a co-owner...i don't work as many hours as bryan, but i have just as much responsibility to the livelihood of our business.

Just a brief history lesson...I quit my job to work for LA Pool Guys before i was ever pregnant with Bryson - in April of 2004...just celebrated 8 years. For those of you who do not know...I take care of all the billing, all the invoicing, all the payments to techs, all the budgeting, taxes, money stuff - where Bryan is in charge of the big picture stuff - marketing, sales, forward thinking stuff.

So before we ever had a baby...we had this business baby...and then we had a baby baby...and still this business baby. Bryan's "dream" as i like to put it...is that we would co-parent. he wanted a chance to raise his kids - take them to the park...be there for baseball games and practice...he wanted to be a normal presence. he loved that his dad had school hours and was home somewhat early and had the summers "off" (normally he worked odd jobs, but was still around) and he wanted that too (without having to teach).

so...here we are...8 years later...living the "dream"...and i put it in quotes and somewhat laugh when i do, because more often than not it seems like a nightmare. we are such different parents. when i tell other moms at how much bryan parents they tend to freak out a little - "what? he doesnt keep them on a schedule?" no...no no no...bryan doesnt have that word in his vocabulary. he gets them and they get dirty and over-tired and that is why they love being with their dad. when bryan has them he takes them places i dont care to go with all 3 kids - Home Depot, The Aquarium, The Nature Walk (i dont take them there by myself that is), The Movies - he gets stares all the time and a lot of "Hey! Super Dad!"...which peeves me BTW...i have NEVER been called a super mom...i just get told i have my hands full...whatevs...

bryan has a way to tune out the whining...i still hear the complaint through the whining...they have given up on whining to him, however. he is a lot more stern than me. he is a lot more daring than me. he is a lot more focused on each individual's needs than me...i tend to gravitate toward the one with the biggest complaint.

anyway - it is an ever changing process - this "dream" of co-parenting. it has not been simple...it has been a complex working through gender roles and conceptions and expectations on a steady basis. but i do have to say - it works for us because we know no other way. we have done this since the beginning and i am in to deep to quit. i threaten to, but i know i wont...i will stick by him and help him so that he can be there for the boys, even though selfishly i long to "just" be a mom. i also know that sometimes i yearn to go in the office and escape the whining and wiping and feeding and punishing.

this is all to shape the background for this little story. bryson is in kindergarten. He almost made it through an entire year without getting in trouble anything serious. a couple weeks ago he got sent to the principal's office and it happened to be Bryan's day of watching the boys, so when he went to pick him up he had to have a discussion with the teacher and the principal. Turns out a little boy in his class and him were caught karate chopping pencils. The teacher treated this very seriously (as she should have!) and told them they were in trouble for destroying public property.

bryan was not happy. i was not happy. i told bryan that i thought he should have to pay for the damages, as well as write an apology.

when we got home bryan told bryson to get the $20 bill he got for his birthday (6 months ago) that he has been saving and showing everyone and so proud of and did i mention how special this $20 bill was to him? he told him to get it and that he would have to give this to the teacher to pay for the damage he caused. He told him that if the class didn't need pencils he could donate it to the science lab.

oh how this broke my heart (and his). we talked with him about consequences. how little the consequences are now in Kindergarten (principal's office and $20) but how BIG they would be as an adult (prison). we talked with him about his choice in friends and the importance of choosing friends who help you be a better person. we talked about the type of person he wanted to be. at the end of it...i realized how extremely grateful i was to be able to teach him such a big lesson at such a young age...i didn't 100% agree with bryan's approach at first, but 100% believe now that it was spot on.

then i had this teary eyed moment about the "dream" and how proud i was that he knew our son so well that he knew what would be the most effective punishment. and trust me, this has happened like once since we started this "dream", so dont be fooled like this is some hallmark channel of a family, but this particular moment made me proud of it all.

So there is the story of Bryson's first principal's office visit. My hope is that it had as big an impact on him as it did on his mother

Dear Mrs. Clanton, I am sorry for breaking your pencils. I am giving $20.00 to the science lab because that is for your pencils. I have to pay for them. I will never do it again. Love, Bryson

.

Barnes Boys - Where They At!

i haven't written for a while. i have desired to...several times, but for some reason i can't sit myself down to do it...and when i do it just feels forced. ever since i changed my office hours down to 2 days a week it seems like i barely have time to do all i need to...but i fit it all in, because it means i can be a mom the other 3 days a week...so i guess i am busier being with my kids than writing about them :)

and these kids are keeping us busy...especially this one...

Bobby is just nuts. seriously. we just stare at him sometimes and wonder how in the world anyone could have that much energy. one pointed difference between this guy and bryson at this age...because they are very similar...is that once bobby is tired...he is out...he will pass out on the kitchen floor...the middle of the nursery...wherever he wants. he goes down at 6pm and doesnt wake usually until 6:30-7:00 - he also takes a 2 hour nap generally every day...because he needs that much sleep to be Bobby the rest of the day. if he is awake you can bet he is trying to destroy everything in sight...the other morning he had managed to spill the entire contents of the cereal box...then he found the wet cat food and stuck his hand in it and then proceeded to wipe it all over the dining room table...from there he took down all the coats from the coat rack and then he thought all the books in the bookshelf was much too practical, so he threw those all over...where was i? just in the wake of his tornado...trying to clean up one mess after another...sometimes when this happens i just put him in his crib because i just fear for his safety and the safety of others...

we had him at bryson's baseball game and i was watching him and then bryson's t-ball coach came up and surprised me and said hi and we were talking...i had my eye on him still and then for a split second i lost him....i frantically looked all over and on a whim checked the playground...which was quite a bit of a ways off...there was bobby...on the biggest slide of the whole park just having a ball...so i locked him up the rest of the game. i cant handle bringing bobby to public places...he is so fast and so daring and so quiet...but he is also a lot of fun- he has this joyous spirit that is so contagious.

Bryson has been doing Baseball through LB Little League - he is in the farm division...which is the next division up from t-ball - here they machine pitch the ball..the kids get out and they keep track of the score. its intense. we have practice games for the first 9 games and now they are real...and my goodness - there is no difference in the kids and how they play, but the parents. oh man...and this is just FARM! just a lot of shouting and general intensity...i have been warned, but i wasnt expecting it this early. we are not the best team either...sometimes they look like they have no clue what to do and its frustrating to me...especially when we are getting beat so bad the score is 26 to 2...that bad. so - if your team is beating another team by that drastic a measure, is it really necessary to stand up and scream and shout praise when your son gets my son out? the answer is...its not...i know you like seeing your kid do well...but lets have some sportsmanship...

bryson does not seem to care though...i heard him telling his team mate that it didnt matter if they lost or not, they would still get a trophy at the end. so at least he has a somewhat healthy spirit about it all. he is also doing golf and doing quite well. bryan tries to take him to the course once a week and its work, but also bonding. i think bryson feels pretty special he gets that time with his dad. the other day we were cleaning up in the kitchen and bryson asked bryan to play catch with him...it made me smile...its like what bryan dreamed about when i first found out i was pregnant...only took 6 years for it to come true :) - bryan was never much of a baby person and i joked and would tell people he wants me to pop out a 5 year old...but its good that i am more of the baby person and he is more of the 5 year old type...because he is awesome with him in ways that i strongly lack. not just in sports either - i watch him help bryson with his homework - so patient and helpful. i am lucky to have a partner like him...the boys are lucky to have a daddy like him...i just think he hung the moon...

anyway...back to bryson. he is still doing great at school. his new thing is the cafeteria. i have never let him buy lunch (twice a week he stays through lunch for enrichment with the teacher) at the cafeteria, but the other day i forgot his lunch and i was sick, so i let him. he thought it was the coolest thing around. giving the money - getting hot food...it was the highlight of his day. so today he informed me that he was using his own money to buy lunch at the cafeteria. i didnt fight it...partly because i havent been grocery shopping...partly because he never eats the lunches i make him anyway...partly because its his own money...but also mainly because i like saving my battles with that one. and seriously...that kid is so under-weight that maybe some junky cafeteria food will be good for him :) put some meat on his skinny little chicken legs. he is money obsessed right now. if he isnt counting his money he is holding his wallet and thinking about money. it comes in handy sometimes - he does all kinds of little chores for me for a quarter...my favorite is when i tell him to entertain bobby for 20 minutes for a quarter...he totally does...its the only time really...is that sad i have to pay my kid to pay attention to his little brother? probably...

bodie bear. bodie had a rough time when mama bear was away. he has never given us any grief about going to Sunday School or his pre-school. ever. surprisingly so, since he is the most "attached" of the bunch. but since i came back he has had a tough time going to school and church. at church on Sunday i think he just had enough. he cried for a good 10 minutes before i convinced Bryan to let him sit with us. and he did - and he did awesome! no games, no pen and paper, just sat on my lap pretty much quietly through the whole service. i think he just really wanted to be next to me and didnt care the where and why. it feels good to be needed/wanted like that i must admit. bryson is just so not that way. i told bryson that his friend's dad and i were going to carpool and would that be okay? "That would be great mom!" so excited...bryson is ready to sign up for the college dorms...bodie will live with us till he is 30...just kidding...i hope...bodie is just a different being and has different needs...one of those is touch...and it makes my heart happy to have one of them not shoo away all my kisses...i know eventually he will, but dont tell me that...for now i am enjoying my cuddle bug!

on a different note...bodie is sneaky. super sneaky. this morning he snuck out of his room and grabbed the box of probiotic chewables (i was giving them to bobby since i had to put him on antibiotics) and proceeded to eat the whole box. you are only supposed to give them 2 at a time...he ate 20. i looked it up and the only thing that i could find that might happen is diarrhea...obviously...so that should make for a fun day :) 

right now i have summer on my mind. i wish it was a wishful kind of summer thinking, like dreaming of corn and watermelon and picnic blankets and beaches...but its more like what am i going to do with my kids for the entire summer? i will need to come in the office more - at least 3 days a week. bryan is working a side job and will need to be either in the office or at the other job probably 5 days a week. so i am praying for a solution...a financially friendly solution...child-care for 3 is no joke. but i see no way around it. we chose to have a seasonal business, and summer happens to be THE season for us...but i can't complain...we have help in the office now...and it is so needed and wonderful to have another person to carry the load so to speak. although bryan and i "work together" we dont ever work together...since bryson has been born we have taken turns in the office. its rare that we are both in here at the same time. maybe thats why its worked for 8 years :) 

Easter in San Jose

Their Auntie Kristie got them each little Easter baskets - Bodie's had a monster truck...score!

Family Photo...believe it or not...this was the best one of 10

Kassai and Bodie - 3 weeks apart and the cutest of friends!

Kayo - he is a couple weeks younger than Bobby and the sweetest boy!

Can you tell they are brother and sister?

Grandma Pearl-  Can you believe she is 82? She looks so young!

THE FOOD!

The man behind the food!

on the hunt...

Money? What is this stuff?

Kassai and her very pretty meema!

We went up north for Easter this year. It was probably one of the nicest drives up we have had and one of the nicest Easters as well. It is already getting a lot easier to travel with all 3 and makes me realize that pretty soon they might even be fit to travel with...like on a vacation...like maybe even a plane! that concept is still pretty foreign though...most every trip we do is to see family or friends...but i know it will come soon enough. My mantra, "This too shall pass" has always given me comfort and hope, but lately has made me a little sad - sad that we are done growing our family and onto another stage...sad that we are getting rid of all things baby in this house...sad that my "baby" is now starting to talk (and tell me "no")...sad that Bodie seems to have aged overnight.

I actually left on Easter Sunday on a plane back home, while Bryan and his parents took the boys up to Tahoe. Bryan had told me that he slept with the two bigger boys a couple nights because he realized he wont be able to for very much longer...oh yeah...then it would just get creepy...but right now its sweet. so sweet.

Anyways...Easter...He is Risen! We had a wonderful day celebrating the Resurrection Sunday with Church and dressing up and egg hunts and family and uh-mazing food! bryan's grandma Pearl celebrated her 82nd birthday and it was nice for the kids to get to be able to meet their Great-Grandma. Bryson made out like a bandit on the egg hunt and found like $11 or something ridiculous...i feel like i was lucky to get pennies...my brother always found the eggs with the cash (of course). Bodie ate probably more candy on Sunday than he had all year combined (which happens if you dont watch Bodie...he steals candy and sneakily eats it. Bryson still asks me every time if it is okay...bodie figured out its better to ask forgiveness than permission!) Bobby was pretty non-plussed with the whole day, but excited about having his own eggs.

We had some beautiful weather and it was so fun to just sit back and watch all the cousins and family. we are blessed to have some pretty awesome relatives on both our sides. I was a little worried the whole day about leaving...and the actual goodbye was pretty traumatic, but my little mama spring break was amazing! and needed...so needed. I will post more on that!