exiting hermitage

so...i think i asked a number of moms of three as to when they found their new normal...their rhythm...when things didn't seem so out of control...some said a year...some said three months...some said it was still a process...so i guess i just allowed myself a lot of grace.

i know how much i have on my plate...i know its pretty full...i knew that something would need to change, but i could not see a way that it would.

thank God that i have a husband who doesn't worry...he acts. he is a couple steps ahead of me and is constantly trying to solve the puzzle, where i just try to organize the pieces.

though, sometimes, it can be super annoying...admittedly...he is usually always right in his planning.

last year before the summer began we were wondering how we would continue to do our business, that is thankfully growing...but growing beyond our capabilities of one and a half...somehow in the past 3 months we have managed to pick up two additional team members. both are selling, but one is taking over a lot of the management and a lot of my duties that, although easy, are time consuming...and time is that one precious commodity i rarely seem to find.

now i find myself freed from a lot of my work...my daily jobs that would take up 3-4 hours of my day...whether i did them with the kids, or while they were napping or when they slept. can i express how amazing this is? to be able to be a mom and be present to my kids and my house and be able to cook meals and even, daresay, enjoy it...without stressing over emails left unanswered or bills paid?

i think we are starting to find our new normal is what i am saying. i think that 4 months later things are slowing down enough to the point where i can enjoy my kids and my day without guilt.

so this new year is not without resolve. i typically keep my resolutions to myself, but perhaps sharing them will actually help me to stick to them!

first off - our health...we have been doing p90x...we somehow managed to do all 6 days last week...i am so sore...on top of it i started dance class back up and we started learning our competition routine...exciting! and humbling! what i find funny is that we had NO plan on how we would do it...the videos take at least 1 hour to complete and we decided to start at 7 am whether or not the bigger boys were awake. it has somehow worked out and they join us and try to follow the video even. its a crazy mess most time and a lot of managing while trying to follow the video, but we are doing it...in our way...all of us...amazing.

i had forgotten how much i enjoy working out...i have been out of practice for a year. but what a release it is...and i already am starting to feel better about a lot of aspects in my life because i am doing that little thing for myself. i havent been bold enough to run...i think i want to lose more weight first because if i attempted it now i may lose heart and be defeated too quickly...but runs have already been planned and scheduled for the future. i still plan on doing our first marathon...but not sure if that will happen this year or the next when bobby will be able to stay over a night with relatives. running tends to interfere with milk supply...

also...our food...i have never been able to diet...like, ever. its not just that i dont have self control...its more like i get comfortable. but every year i have made little changes to our diets, getting us on a healthier track. this year i am really focusing more on seasonal eating and local produce. good thing we have amazing farmers markets in long beach! i have been really trying hard to plan ahead our menu for the week (which is a HUGE challenge for me) and am always looking for healthy yummy recipes and sources, so send them my way if you got em!

thirdly, our community - i want to get the kids more into our community - in knowing they are a part of something. in wanting to be a part of that something. not sure yet what that will look like...but i do know that there will be ample opportunity if i just keep my eyes open.

i am stopping it there. already a little lofty, but i think manageable perhaps. i do have ongoing resolutions...like several goals for myself and creativity - i would really love to sew something for myself...that i actually wear...in public...and also conserving goals - less plastic/paper bags - less bottled water - less waste - more conserving...these are ongoing goals.

so here we go...now in our "new normal" and a whole lot more chaos and tears and laughter and diapers (oh my the laundry) and a whole lotta more joy above it all...to face on 2011...its gunna be a great year - our first complete year as the Barnes Family...and i can't help but be optimistic.