potty talk

are you sick of hearing about bodies' pooping saga yet? well join the freaking club! we have been in constipation underworld since october 15th...and for the first time since i am starting to believe we turned a corner...

he pooped three times this week and didn't cry. hallelujah!

what did we do? did we give him more laxatives? did we give him flaxseed oil in every drink? did we give him stickers like that "doctor" suggested? well...no...actually...bryan decided to just ignore him. and when he did start the crying bryan would calmly tell him to stop crying. we told him mommy poops and doesn't cry...brother poops and doesn't cry...daddy poops and doesn't cry...bobby poops and laughs...and then we told him to go to his room if he wanted to cry...and we also designated a pooping spot for him. maybe the peer pressure worked...or maybe its just a fluke...but giving up my control over it (which of course i had little to none to begin with) is working.

this is just something i have learned along the way...over and over...and when it will actually sink in i cant tell you...

bodie has also started potty training himself. we have caught him peeing in the potty on his own about 10 different times. usually i just see his little winky sticking out above his pants and know what he did, but sometimes we actually catch him standing over the potty on his tippy toes trying to go.

this is extremely funny to me.

i am also not ready to train him because it seems whenever he does want to go it is at an extremely inconvenient time for me...and also because he says he wants to go and we take down the pants and off the diaper and then its just a trickle and then i have to re-clothe him. so i just bought him some pull-ups and am currently only dressing him in elastic waisted pants and i just let him work it out. again, i am assuming its the peer pressure. he sees all these other boys going potty all day long (i guess we aren't too big on privacy around here) and figures this is what you do. i figure at this rate, bobby will never have to be "potty trained" either...so that is a plus for having all boys for sure!

anyway - thank you everyone for your helpful suggestions and keep your fingers crossed, or more effective, prayers going, that this continues!

Bobby at 4 Months

So i will stop apologizing for being late...i made it before he officially turned 5 months, so success!

Bobby in his 4th month experienced his first Christmas, his first trip up to San Jose to meet all the fam, his first New Year's Eve and New Year's Day (which was completely uneventful for him! He got  his first cold, rolled over for the first time, laughs belly laughs (he is oh so ticklish!)

Bobby is the most erratic sleeper - i can not find his rhythm at all - some nights he won't wake until 5 a.m. and other nights he is up every hour...now that he is feeling better sleeping has gotten a little better, but the holidays were rough!

Bobby found his hands...oh boy...he loves those hands...always in his mouth - always grabbing - he found an interest in toys and grabbing things. He still likes to be swaddled and sleeps better that way, but Mr. Wiggle Worm can get out of it so fast!

I'll say it every month (hopefully) - Bobby is the sweetest baby! My dream 3rd child...just so happy to just sit and watch everyone and smile big ole smiles...We love you Bobby!!

Here We Go!

Can you spot Bryan? (hint: 5 seconds in)

Bodie's Obsession with Monster Trucks Grows...

you have to wait like 46 seconds in...but its worth it!




bryan, bryson, bodie, my brother jake and his son buddy all went to the monster truck jam this last weekend (i know, i can't believe i missed out on such an event...i went to a dear friend's 30th bday party in Santa Barbara instead...it was a tough choice...NOT!)

anyway...bodie has been talking non-stop about it...and he also sleeps with his batman monster truck. he was enthralled by Madusa...who "spin round" and one of them had a wheel that came off and that was apparently very exciting as well...

i'm thinking this will be a great GUY thing...and mommy will take the weekend off...and everyone wins ;)

Sickness...An Update

i thought some of you may be interested in an update to the barnes boys...

bodie remains constipated. a very FAILED doctor visit left me more frustrated than before (she deemed it a behavioral issue and suggested we encourage him with stickers). i am just sticking to keeping his diet as fibrous as i can and to be as encouraging to him pooping as i can (which is tough when he has crying sessions for 45 minutes or longer at a time) and we will only use enemas or suppositories if it has been over a week since he pooped. if it continues another month i am going to start searching for a pediatrician who may actually know something about it...

bobby is getting over his cough - he only coughs a couple times a day...incidentally bryan and i are too - i think all the sweating over our new working out has helped expel the remaining goop from our system - nothing like the power of good ol' sweat!

bryson...we had an appointment with a neurologist this afternoon. we are VERY relieved that she believes it to be chronic tic disorder, NOT Tourette's, like i had feared. her explanation is that the difference between the two is that Tourette's is very severe - and one of the main differences is that patients with Tourette's almost always have severe OCD - and she didn't see that with bryson...and also that patients with Tourette's have vocal tics, which are different i guess than sounds...they are words...which bryson has not had. the Dr. was super helpful and encouraging and also gave some good advice on how to approach teachers and care-givers.

 i almost had a melt down last week when i took bryson to the dentist and realized on our way there that he may not be able to hold his head still long enough for them to clean his teeth. i had a private conversation with the dentist and almost started crying...i held it together and the dentist was super sweet and no pressure and bryson did amazing and kept his head still the whole time and i realized how much more i am affected than he...which was super depressing and humbling all in one.

so very thankful.

thank you all for your prayers...we are all on the mend...and being on an upwards curve is always more inspiring than looking at the downward slope! i am very grateful to be a part of a community of women and mamas who help hold my hand when i need holding!

my boys

this picture makes me super happy...my boys...aren't they the handsomest ever???

Bedtime for Bonzos

bedtime is ROUGH around here these days. some nights will be super easy and bry and i will look at each other in disbelief, like "what? that worked?" and then other nights are just...under-worldly...the boys sleep in the same room...and the same bed...which leads to why some nights are easy and some aren't

we have tried it every which possible way - for a long time bryson would lay down in our bed until he fell asleep and then we would carry him into his bed...but ever since bodie transitioned to the big boy bed it has been easier with bryson, aka "Bodie Police" in the same room. then they were in separate beds in the same room (bryson has the top bunk) but EVERY night bodie would try to crawl up into the bed with bryson. so we tried putting them on the same bed on different sides and it has been the best situation so far.

there are several funny things happening in this picture. first of all...bodie is sleeping in a squat position. this can not be comfortable, right? no wonder that boy is so strong - he works out while he sleeps! secondly, they like to pile all their stuffed animals and all their blankets (and any other blankets they can find) and i will find the occasional toy too...you can barely see bryson's arm peeking out on the left - he likes to pile all these things on top of him...

so i am sure other mamas can relate - that at the end of the day i am just DONE...like super done...like i can not possibly battle any more at all and any whining or crying is just intensified and i just turn into super grump. so since the new year i have started really cracking down on nap time/rest time and bed time. the only thing i find that works is that i put the boys in the room and tell them that if i hear noise i will close their door...this is super motivating to bryson especially (not bodie - he prefers the door closed that little sneak!) and then sure enough there will be noise and i will close the door and i tell them i will open it again when they are sleeping and then i just dont go in anymore (unless i hear crying of course).

if anyone has any tricks for getting kids who share a room to bed without drama let me know! they will be getting a third roommate soon and it would be nice if there was an easier way than our experience has been!

exiting hermitage

so...i think i asked a number of moms of three as to when they found their new normal...their rhythm...when things didn't seem so out of control...some said a year...some said three months...some said it was still a process...so i guess i just allowed myself a lot of grace.

i know how much i have on my plate...i know its pretty full...i knew that something would need to change, but i could not see a way that it would.

thank God that i have a husband who doesn't worry...he acts. he is a couple steps ahead of me and is constantly trying to solve the puzzle, where i just try to organize the pieces.

though, sometimes, it can be super annoying...admittedly...he is usually always right in his planning.

last year before the summer began we were wondering how we would continue to do our business, that is thankfully growing...but growing beyond our capabilities of one and a half...somehow in the past 3 months we have managed to pick up two additional team members. both are selling, but one is taking over a lot of the management and a lot of my duties that, although easy, are time consuming...and time is that one precious commodity i rarely seem to find.

now i find myself freed from a lot of my work...my daily jobs that would take up 3-4 hours of my day...whether i did them with the kids, or while they were napping or when they slept. can i express how amazing this is? to be able to be a mom and be present to my kids and my house and be able to cook meals and even, daresay, enjoy it...without stressing over emails left unanswered or bills paid?

i think we are starting to find our new normal is what i am saying. i think that 4 months later things are slowing down enough to the point where i can enjoy my kids and my day without guilt.

so this new year is not without resolve. i typically keep my resolutions to myself, but perhaps sharing them will actually help me to stick to them!

first off - our health...we have been doing p90x...we somehow managed to do all 6 days last week...i am so sore...on top of it i started dance class back up and we started learning our competition routine...exciting! and humbling! what i find funny is that we had NO plan on how we would do it...the videos take at least 1 hour to complete and we decided to start at 7 am whether or not the bigger boys were awake. it has somehow worked out and they join us and try to follow the video even. its a crazy mess most time and a lot of managing while trying to follow the video, but we are doing it...in our way...all of us...amazing.

i had forgotten how much i enjoy working out...i have been out of practice for a year. but what a release it is...and i already am starting to feel better about a lot of aspects in my life because i am doing that little thing for myself. i havent been bold enough to run...i think i want to lose more weight first because if i attempted it now i may lose heart and be defeated too quickly...but runs have already been planned and scheduled for the future. i still plan on doing our first marathon...but not sure if that will happen this year or the next when bobby will be able to stay over a night with relatives. running tends to interfere with milk supply...

also...our food...i have never been able to diet...like, ever. its not just that i dont have self control...its more like i get comfortable. but every year i have made little changes to our diets, getting us on a healthier track. this year i am really focusing more on seasonal eating and local produce. good thing we have amazing farmers markets in long beach! i have been really trying hard to plan ahead our menu for the week (which is a HUGE challenge for me) and am always looking for healthy yummy recipes and sources, so send them my way if you got em!

thirdly, our community - i want to get the kids more into our community - in knowing they are a part of something. in wanting to be a part of that something. not sure yet what that will look like...but i do know that there will be ample opportunity if i just keep my eyes open.

i am stopping it there. already a little lofty, but i think manageable perhaps. i do have ongoing resolutions...like several goals for myself and creativity - i would really love to sew something for myself...that i actually wear...in public...and also conserving goals - less plastic/paper bags - less bottled water - less waste - more conserving...these are ongoing goals.

so here we go...now in our "new normal" and a whole lot more chaos and tears and laughter and diapers (oh my the laundry) and a whole lotta more joy above it all...to face on 2011...its gunna be a great year - our first complete year as the Barnes Family...and i can't help but be optimistic.

the best christmas wish list...ever...

in case you can't read...this is Bryson's wish list he made at school:

Dear Santa,

I want a double sun that will shine and I want a BB gun and a double rainbow that will shine far and really big that shines all the way to the mountains and a Buzzlightyear toy that has double wings and can fly and talk. And an ice cream maker and a remote control monster truck. And I want a car, a remote control car. And I want Jupiter, the planet, and I want a double K that will force a rock and break a rock in half. That's all.

Love, Bryson

we never had doctor bills before we had kids...

goodness...it seems like every month i am surprised at a new doctor bill. when will i learn and put it in the budget? maybe i need to formally tell myself...

Dear Carlee...you really need to budget for doctors visits and ER bills...cause its just gunna get worse. just wait till Bobby starts walking.
Yours forever,
Carlee

okay...so...that still wont happen cause i havent done our budgets in like 2 years. which is a different post all together.

so i have an appointment for dear Bodie tomorrow. finally. for his constipation that has been ongoing since October 15th. i know the exact date because it all started when he had to go to the ER for his peeny-thing (which turned out to be a skin irritation...$1100 later...fun fun fun). i won't say i have tried everything, because it seems like every new person i talk to has some magic solution, but i have completely changed his diet, given him cal-mag, laxatives, enemas (when emergency), glycerin suppositories (when emergency), fiber supplements, pro-biotics, poop smoothies (that sounds gross...the smoothie is intended to make him poop, not made out of poop...just to clarify). he cried for about 40 minutes tonight while he pooped. some days its hard and black, some its less solid and a beautiful poop brown...so off to the doctor to see if there is a missing puzzle piece i am not seeing. he also has this weird red ear thing and weird skin rash on his cheek, so maybe an allergy test too?

it would be so boring if just Bodie had something wrong....Bobby finally got the cough circulating through our family so he wakes up every hour through the night. so i have that to look forward to when i go to bed.

also...bryson has his own "situation". what i have been fearing and suspecting for about a year and a half has all seemed to appear certain in the last few weeks. we have thought Bryson may have Tourette's Syndrome since before his 4th birthday and recently we are only 90% certain (not 100% because we haven't had anyone else look at him, but we know a duck when we see a duck...and hear a duck like 28,765 times throughout the day). he has picked up and dropped off different tics throughout this time, but over our stay in san jose he picked up 3 at once...forcing us to confront our fears and start researching where to begin this journey.

i tell such a thing because everything i have researched and everything says to enlighten people who may not know and educate them so that they dont make it worse. he starts school back up tomorrow and he has this crazy head tic thing and a sniffing thing and i just have a pit in my stomach that kids are going to make fun of him.

so...the point of all this...is that my kids need prayer...all of them...plus i need prayer...i am struggling. for one of the first times in my mommy-hood i am seriously questioning the stuff i am made of. i dont have an answer for any one of them...its all completely out of my control and as much as i would love to just sit back and tell you all that i have this amazing faith in God that everything will turn out just peachy, i don't right now.

i think if perhaps i was actually getting sleep i may have a different/better perspective on all of it...but that's not the case and i don't foresee it happening for a while, so there is that. if anyone has any perspective for me, i am more than open to it. i turn to my "online" community because its all i have right now. if i even found a support group i dont see when i would even have the time to make it work. how ironic is that?

dear friends and family, please remember us in your prayers. please if someone out there has any insight into Tourette's and has some direction for me, please let me know.

yours forever,
Carlee