A Shift, A Shower, A Seedling

Photo from Missie's shower this weekend, Me, Missie and my sister - photo stolen from FB - taken by Jennifer Johnson

I had a really wonderful weekend. I came to sit down to work today and read some blogs and had my coffee, which i like to do before i start my day - puts me in a creative/working mode i find...anyway - there were quite a few blogs that had sweeping realizations and lots of reflective posts, which was odd because i have had some thoughts swirling in my head from this weekend that i felt compelled to share here. I have been reflecting on my summer and what was different about this summer- because when i look back at the summer as a whole - it felt really balanced. this is not normal for me - usually i never say no to anything - i overpack my schedule and overcommit my time, but this summer i was super mindful of only traveling a couple weekends per month. of planning on "catch up" days around the house. i did not have a lot of community this summer- not nearly enough play dates and catch up time with girlfriends that i had every intention on doing. But we did have some great camping vacations with friends and a wonderful long weekend with bryan's family, so i suppose there was that, but of course the extrovert in me would always be down for more! I have found my thoughts shifting more and more toward simplicity. There was a big shift last year when we realized that all the material "things" and "stuff" in our house was causing fights, rather than encouraging play - so we downsized on stuff....a lot. Got rid of about 75% of their toys. The things we kept were their scooters, bikes, etc, a few board games and puzzles, and their hot wheels and monster trucks. These are the things that most often get played with, so everything else went to the goodwill. this had an amazing effect on our kids...and seeing that and witnessing how much better they play when there isn't "stuff" made me think about my own relationship with "stuff". i narrowed down too. I took a step back and realized that I have a problem with "stuff". I am not healed of that problem - i have a long ways to go, but there has been a small seedling planted and is now growing - of being mindful with things and cautious and deliberate.

I think my seedling of "simplicity" that started a while ago is really starting to flourish, when i think about my days and weeks and months. I have realized that although i am not a planner by nature, planning has really helped create balance in our home. Being thoughtful and intentional with planning ahead - meals, car pools, etc. has been my saving grace.

I have also noticed a shift in my attitude. The other day I was making these bracelets with bryson and he started getting really frustrated. i told him, "you know bryson, i got you these things because i thought you would have fun making them. i thought you enjoyed a challenge. things aren't always easy when we first start, but part of the fun is learning how to do it and how to do it better each time. It's why i like to sew and knit." and then i realized i was talking to myself because i haven't had that joy each time. I then started thinking about my own attitude and perspective on other "chores" like cleaning and making dinner. I started to desire to not just do it, but to do it and love it and enjoy it. can i tell you what an amazing "aha" moment this was. I took my own advice i was giving to my son and what do you know? i probably needed it more than he did! It has been really powerful to not just get through cleaning the kitchen, but changing my attitude about the whole thing has become a really empowering idea (having uplifting music helps this attitude!).

anyway...i am not always grinning ear to ear picking up the millionth hot wheel on the ground, or trying to pick granola out of a shag rug...or cleaning pee from the umpteenth sheet this week...so please don't let me give you the wrong impression - i am still a small seedling in this area, but my desire is to nourish and grow that little seedling into a beautiful tree - bearing fruit and all...if i can take the metaphor even further, please.

this weekend my sister and i had the pleasure of throwing a bridal shower for our cousin Melissa. It was such a joy to do and i truly loved making each little thing - partly because i enjoy that, but also I knew Melissa would appreciate it since she enjoys the same sort of thing. It was a small family shower and it was such a joy to just sit and chat with all the amazing women in our family. I wasn't the one getting married, but left it feeling so blessed to be from such good stock. to have such support within our family. to feel like no matter what kind of time has passed you can pick up wherever you left off. it was beautiful and wonderful and none of the decorations or food or anything else mattered nearly as much as that.  i am still basking in that love from that day and hope the bride to be feels the same!