oh i am so going to jinx myself with this post...but it has been on my heart to journal this new season...so bravely...with trepidation...i move forward!
i have been reflecting a bit over the past month and the sense of something being "different"...i dont dare term it as "easier" i know much better now that there is no such thing with mothering...whenever new moms ask me if it gets easier...i tell them...it will get different...because i tend to think that is a truer statement.
where bobby doesn't wake continually through the night...he destroys the entire house in seconds. literally - like seconds...i could record all of his amazing destruction, but while i was taking the time to record something like that he would take that as an opportunity to move on to the next. anyway - this isnt the point. the point is that we are definitely entering a new season in our family. we recently got rid of the double strollers. bobby is even refusing the stroller most times. bodie can get in and out of the carseat himself. bodie can dress himself. bobby tried to go potty for the first time (by himself...all over the bathroom...but still he was trying). i had said before that the crib is pretty useless and i told myself by the end of october we need a bed...
anwyay -i feel as though since bobby was born i have been trying all i can to keep afloat - keep up with things...never mind getting ahead! just trying desperately not to fall too far behind. keep up with my part of the responsibility of our business...keep up with bryson's school work...keeping up with a never ending pile of laundry...keeping up with the messes that pop up continually everywhere...even to keep up with their oral hygiene - all of it is such a struggle and by the end of the day my personal resources are completely depleted. but...recently there has been this shift...the summer allowed us more time to focus on certain goals with the boys - goals in sports - goals in crafting - goals in adventuring. things are getting different.
it has made me rethink my time i have with the boys when i have them. since before kindergarten started our days were filled with playdates and finding new parks and exploring and one day a week would be my day to catch up around the house with laundry and cleaning and such. but now bryson is gone all day - way too long if you ask me. it seems like at the end of the day there is just no time left. he comes home around 3 - has about a half hour of homework (in first grade!!! so dumb) then it is time for me to make dinner and then its time to practice golf and then its time for bed.
so here i am staring at the boys' future. their future of school indoors for 6 hours a day. and i am trying to think about all the things i would love for him to experience and learn - scripture and poetry and music and art and sports and these are all extra-curricular things that really - when will he learn? so this little seed has been planted in my brain of going down the path of home-schooling. i am not sure what it would look like, other than it would have to involve bryan. i have not mentally been able to even explore that option until now - bodie and bobby's ages were all consuming to me...but its something i am praying about and starting to talk about and learn about to see if it would fit for us and if it would be best for bryson. he is all about not having to be indoors all day every day. but he is also doing real in school right now...mainly we are starting the process of thinking about it for second grade.
i am not romanticizing it all either...well...maybe a little i am...but i know and can foresee that bryson and i will butt heads...we are too similar not to. but i think if i can find a style that works for the both of us - if i have help from bryan (and maybe a charter school or something similar once a week would be a good idea)
this has been on my heart for the past couple of weeks...wanted to throw it out there for anyone to offer advice, encouragement or resources.
It doesn't surprise me that you're considering this...but at the same time, it just seems overwhelming. I hope you feel the Lord's clear direction in either decision! XO!
ReplyDeleteCarly, I found your blog interesting and honest. There is something about being our children's first teacher that is innate. I think it is akin to the feeling we get when we choose to breastfeed. We want to be their main source of nutrition whatever form that takes. I have kept up with your blogging for a long time now, and I can see how you would want to do this. When Rich and I did this years ago, there did not exist the variety of home-schooling options that there are today. Check out the hybrid schools in your area. They will allow you to be on an every other day schedule or something like that. There is the Star Program through Biola that has satellite campuses. Check that out. I would definitely have gone with a school like that. I probably would not have gotten so burnt out and exhausted. I remember those days with my 3 sons. God bless you guys. We will pray with you.
ReplyDeleteDear friend, you and B have only good and honorable intentions/desires for your children and for that you will be blessed. The alignment of these desires and God's path for you will be my prayer for your family. If you ever want to chat up the subject (maybe over dinner and a drink ;) let me know.
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