Barnes Boys - Where They At!

oh this boy...nobody could love him more than me...and he couldn't get under anyone else's skin like mine either. this boy is so much like me it is infuriating! i have been reading this book - very insightful - all about different temperaments based on their driving NEED. i realized a lot of the parts about the temperament i relate most to speak to men more...which is why i am grateful bryson got some of my temperament - i think it is better suited on a man...just need to work on tempering his temperament.
he is doing awesome at kindergarten. his is turning out to be a little math whiz...who knew? his teacher has only wonderful things to say about him, which makes me both grateful and jealous...and he just performed in his first play! he brought home the drama club form and declared he wanted to be in the school play and that i needed to turn it in so he could get a t-shirt. he was a munchkin in their school performance of "Yellow Brick Road" - he wasn't nervous and did so great! he keeps asking when he can be in his next play...i told him he is currently in baseball and golf and he is going to have to wait till next year...i would love to put him in everything, but goodness - soon bodie is going to start team sports and the feeling that we will be taxi drivers is hitting me all too soon.
he starts baseball practice next week and his games start next month - he is sooooo excited. he tries to practice everyday, but Bodie isnt the best pitcher...yet!

Speaking of Bodie...this little clown is starting to come out of his shell...it is soooo funny to us! just today one of the teachers at his pre-school said that she had to interview him for this "about me" page and said that he blew her away with how smart he was. i have to be honest...it was such a relief to hear someone say that! i have been a little worried because he is so much less talkative and expressive than bryson was at his age. i don't always know how much he comprehends and how much he is just playing me....i am tending to think its the latter these days.
the trick to him is getting him away from bryson - who has a tendency to speak for him...a lot! the other day bodie was helping me make banana bread and was asking me about every process i did...and also explaining to me why i was doing what i was doing. i was so shocked...i didn't even know he could speak as well as he was. is that weird? i think so...i think it is a good indication i need to spend some more solo time with my fellow middle child!
in other news...this little boy has been such a terror this week...some of the things he has done include: taking out every food in the bottom half of the fridge and tossing them around the living room - turkey in the rug, about 10 apples all with one bite in them thrown everywhere...italian sausage on the couch...you get the picture...also - he took off every sheet and every pillow in their bedroom and made a huge pile in the living room - he likes to dump the contents of his toy box on top of all of this as well....he rarely gets spanked, but this week i think a day has not passed where a spanking did not occur. again...its the whole playing us thing...like when we tell him to pick up he tries to look at us all blankly like he had no idea what we said...then will try to go to the bathroom and hope we forget what we told him...or take his sweet precious time to pick up his trains...but we are onto you bodie! i had forgotten just how fun the "threes" are...oh goodness...i am so thankful we only have to do it one more time...

and speaking of one more time...this little guy has been bodie's accomplice. he has also been torturing bodie endlessly. he will just walk up to him and smack him in the head. if bodie is anywhere near me...especially if he is on my lap...bobby flips out. pushes him. smacks him. he has a smacking problem actually. i am at a loss as to how to stop him. you name it we have probably done it to get him to stop. he doesnt care. he is going to smack you and you are not gunna like it. 

he has been under the weather for the last couple of weeks and demands me to hold him like every second basically. lets just say when his bedtime comes around, i have been doing a little happy dance. but today he seems to be coming around...he seems to be doing much better and getting back to his sweet (and not constantly crying) self. 

the thing that is hardest with bobby is that he does not care to walk - the boy RUNS and does so in whatever opposite direction of you. you have to have your eyes on him AT ALL TIMES. the other day dropping off bryson, bobby was right behind me. i took my eyes off of him for literally 10 seconds and when i looked around i spotted him clear across the playground...i dont think i could have made it that far in 10 seconds...when i got to him he was still running from me so fast...little booger! so little man has been exhausting us lately and if we go anywhere not fenced in...we face this problem...again...so happy this is the last one in this stage...bitter-sweet...but both bryan and i are very happy with our decision to not populate the earth with more barnes boys.. :) 

parenting adventures

i have been on many an adventure in my life...sky-diving...hiking the alps...traveling across Europe...riding an elephant...traveling through the monkey forest in Bali...but none of it comes close to the experiences i have had parenting. although not quite the same thrill one gets jumping out of a plane...parenting has been this different extreme...this physical extreme...this emotional extreme...this sometimes claustrophobic extreme.

my little sister is pregnant...i think she is having an emotional go at it and was trying to seek solace in me...i couldnt offer her any fluff...i just told her not to come to me unless she wants the truth...i will encourage her, but i aint gunna lie! its hard...but at the same time, i wish i had someone telling me that...i wish i had someone tell me how dangerous it is to expect things to get easier. i wish i wouldn't have wasted time getting angry at my child waking me up...because my friends kids all slept through the night. i wish i would have had someone tell me...you wont sleep for 2 years. get over it. accept it. deal. and stop whining. stop it...seriously. stop. you will sleep again...just not now so quit saying you are tired. we get it.

that was future me yelling at past me. did you get that? it was really funny to me...anyway...i could keep having these conversations with former me...but we are moving on...aren't we?

there are times when i get this claustrophobic feeling...this overwhelming sense of my responsibilities as a parent...its almost like a physical weight and the obvious becomes heightened... I HAVE THREE KIDS!!! becomes all too suddenly apparent...like i just realized the implication of it all. like they just all of the sudden appeared in my life...but its more than that...its more like...THEY AREN'T LEAVING!...kind of like when you first get married...and it starts to hit you that the other person will never go away, but not in a comforting way...more like an OMG...I WILL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN...EVER!!! kinda terrifying way - did that ever happen to you? me either...just kidding...it did...does...whatever.

but like i was saying...only when i start to fathom the responsibility...the potential for disaster and human-ness. we are going to open a trust for our boys and i joke with my husband that they will have a choice at 18 to use it for college or therapy...but i am only kinda joking...because i feel like how can we not mess them up somehow?

doing the Jesse Tree during Advent season was so special for our little family. it got me thinking all about my faith...it got me thinking how our faith was presented to us as children by our parents...it got me thinking how to present God's truth and Word to our kids...it got me too introspective...i feel like i can not possibly share with them the Word when i am such a poor example of it all. when my faith is so weak...as evidenced by my self-obsessed claustrophobic moments...

i have had some amazing discussions with friends and family in the past couple of months - i find myself again on an adventure. a journey to discover where my faith fits in now. a journey on how to present that to my kids through not just my words but my everyday actions. i haven't had to really take a hard look at what i believe since college. i am realizing i haven't thought too much about myself in the past 6 years - which is both the best thing for me and the worst simultaneously.

i am thankful during this adventurous time in my life i have a lot of support in my church family, and physical family and friends. it can be so isolating if you let it. it can be so hard to not be isolated...but so necessary. it can be the biggest thrill and adventure of them all...but at times the most difficult trek you have ever undertaken...and perhaps the most debilitating part of it is that you cant turn back...there is no option...just press on and teach grace to your children and hopefully they will extend that to you one day.

i am also thankful for this little blog and the ability to share it all with you guys...and for your feedback - not always here, but in conversations, in emails, etc...it helps to share this burden with friends and family - it helps in the connectedness of it all...because we are...we should be...we need to be. i need to be. thank you.

Bodie - you are Three!

i think the fact that i am nearly a month late on this post is testament to my stage in life right now. 

the good thing is...doing a birthday post a month later gives me time to create some good hindsight.

some hindsight things i picked up...

1. having a birthday the day before Christmas is not the easiest to understand for a newly three year old

2. maybe spacing out the birthday celebration longer than a week would be good

3. maybe spacing that out AFTER Christmas would be best - gives him time to tire of his Christmas bounty

okay...onto my baby boy turning 3!!!

Bodie is my little cuddle bug...but if i tell him that he tells me, "I'm not a bug...I'm a Bodie!" and he is so correct...he IS indeed a Bodie...i think we did pretty well in naming him (and the other as well) as far as fitting his temperament. He is very calm - when you have him alone he is a completely different boy than when he is with his brothers. he doesn't mind being alone...playing with his trains and cars for hours. he is content with quiet and cuddling.

with bryson his little goof ball comes out - he wrestles and chases and runs and (destroys) plays pretend and rides bikes and gets that side of him nurtured too.

i think it is so good that he has so many different types of people in his family - makes for a nice well rounded little man! 

right now bodie is talking more than ever...in his adorable deep little raspy voice. he is starting to reason and process and be a little bit bossier than he has been (especially toward bobby) but part of me is happy that he isn't a push-over...he can stand his ground.

he is growing SO FAST! he is only 3 pounds lighter than Bryson - at 39 pounds...his shoe size is almost an 11 (he wears an 11 half the time) - bryson wears a 12.5 - and he is wearing 3T and 4T (which i just transferred over from Bryson's drawers) - he is quickly catching up to Bryson...which i keep reminding him whenever Bryson takes Bodie down...he is just gunna have to learn that one the hard way! not gunna be pretty...

Bodie is in pre-school and LOVES it...loves his teacher, loves his class. he has been asking me every day last semester to stay for lunch, so i made the change this month and he loves it. and they get him to eat everything some-how, so its a win win in my book! one less battle a day? sold! 

i love this boy so much. i can't wait to see how he begins seeing the world this year and all the things he begins to learn. i am loving his new independence - dressing himself (almost entirely) and buckling his car seat...i am more than thankful he still likes to climb in bed with me for some snuggles. makes a mama happy! Happy Birthday Bodie! sorry your birthday kinda gets overlooked...but i hope to make it extra special each year to make up for it!

Love you Bodie Bo!

Christmas Eve 2011

i just got my camera back (i had left it that night at my Aunt's) but i wanted to do a little re-cap on our holidays. we take turns every year with my husbands family and mine celebrating the holidays, and this year was my family's year for Christmas. we drove down to Escondido to my Aunt and Grandma and Grandpa's houses for Christmas Eve.

I grew up down the street from my Grandma and Grandpa and across the street from my Aunt and Uncle, so our family is pretty close. it was fun to have our kids play with my cousin's kids and think about us at their age...in the first pic you can see my cousin Danny's little boy Phoenix - who is just a couple months younger than Bodie.

i feel like the whole evening i was chasing after my boys and trying to keep them from destroying everything. i always get a little anxious taking all 3 into someone's house who doesn't have kids because bobby will destroy something/anything if given the opportunity...he is amazing at it...genius really...his artistry of destruction knows no bounds. so bryan and i took turns herding cats...it gets a little exhausting...especially when i want to catch up with cousins i see once a year...oh well - i guess its only a couple more years of this and then i will be whining about how big they are...

so we had dinner and then headed over to my Aunt's to meet Santa and have dessert and open presents. My cousin Danny was duped into volunteered to play Santa and my kids all had very different reactions.

Bodie was a little non-plussed

Bryson was embarrassed and excited but told me it couldnt have been the real Santa because his beard was too shiny.

Bobby was like...who the hek are you?

Bobby got the most annoying awesome guitar

and the biggest highlight of the night was when Santa pulled out the last present that was addressed to: Baby Guinta - everyone started screaming and hugging and we are all overjoyed to know a little baby Guinta will be joining the family in July! I have known for a little over the month and if you know me...you know its really hard for me to keep something like that a secret...i have told a couple grocery store clerks..."My sister is pregnant!!" and they would look at me quizzically, but i had to tell someone...now i can share my excitement with everyone else! 

Such a wonderfully warm, sweet evening...i love my family and love the traditions we started so long ago - i am glad my boys are able to share in some of that love and meet their Great Grandparents and Great Aunts and Uncles and the people who have helped shape my life and mean so much to me. Christmas season is a good excuse for all that to happen! 

Barnes Boys - Where They At

in bobby news...he must eat all meals with a fork. he also likes sitting at the kitchen table on a chair...he also tries to ride a Razor scooter. pretty much he wants to be one of the guys...now please. its mostly super cute and only kinda annoying.

this was taken round bryson's birthday. i had to document his amazing outfit that he put together. he is obsessed with my "indian boots" as he calls them...so i got him his own pair for his birthday (see the tassles on the back?) and this was his church outfit i believe...a polo under a button up...with a bow tie...and a hat...just amazing...what a style leader this one...and we are holding up our waffle egg sandwiches. bryan got me a waffle maker for my birthday and i dont think i have eaten a plain waffle yet...i have bruxie to thank for that obsession!

bodie bo...big news...he rode his bike yesterday WITHOUT training wheels! can you believe it? he is still just 2 (for one more week) bryson didnt do it till he was 4! mama is not ready for this...which is why it happened when mama was out running errands!!!! but daddy was nice enough to catch it on video for me - which i will post whenever we happen to get to our little video project...hahahahaha....

bodie is such a sweet heart....but oh man...today i almost pulled every hair out of my head and his with all his whining!!! mostly its "im just hungry" the boy is always hungry...but its really everything and anything and today i found that i have indeed reached my wall with that child and the whining.

we are celebrating bodie's birthday tomorrow and i am so excited to give him a little family party - and that he knows what is going on...he isnt one for excitement, but i think he will be over the moon tomorrow! maybe even not whine...as much...??

one can hope anyway...

Barnes Fam - Where They At

i normally do these posts just about the boys...but i am gunna jump on the update train too...so prepared to be dazzled...just kidding...nothing dazzling around here...just a lot of silliness - look at these guys...how can you ever be bored with these guys around? 

so these pics at the aquarium were taken on 11/11/11...how do i know the exact date? i came straight there to pick up the boys from watching my best friend give birth to her third baby girl - safely and beautifully at home surrounded by everyone dear to her. i dont know that i have the right words to adequately describe how much of an amazing experience that was quite yet...so i won't...until it comes to me...i am still processing it all and i think about little Penelope Claire every day and send off prayers. i know her mama knows this. 

look! i got 2 out of the 3 smiling here...that is a bonus...score! and all 3 are looking at the camera - double points! bobby just doesnt like being held in any way...

oh bobby...bryan calls him lunatic...affectionately of course! he likes to bang his head against things...like your head, the back of the car seat, the wall if you happen to be holding him near a wall, his crib, the ground...i am not sure what this is all quite about because most of the time it is done when he is happy...so we will keep you updated if any thing evolves from that.

he no longer walks...just full sprints as fast as a 14 month old can sprint. he likes to book out the front door if it is ever open. good thing bodie already trained us on never leaving the front door unattended. he is giving kisses now...which is nice...usually he just slaps you in the face or bites your lips or pulls your hair real hard. 

he is still my best little sleeper and still goes to bed around 6pm...which is real nice for mama. i think he needs the most sleep because he spends the most energy destroying all day. 

oh goodness...bryson is learning so much right now! last time i wrote, back in October he was trying to make his own words...now the kid is making sentences! so nuts...i helped out in his class the other day and their assignment was to make up and write out 5 sentences. total brag moment...bryson and this other little girl were the only ones to finish! he is so into it...just like everything else he does - he puts his whole heart into it! 

he just finished his first soccer season - they were undefeated the whole season - their team was something kinda incredible...they were passing the ball and waiting at the goal and scoring like crazy - i thought it was going to be a big dog pile on the ball for an hour, but they have actually played games. at their end of the year banquet the coach said a little something about all of them...about bryson he said, "bryson is very hard to control on the field. but he plays with his whole heart. he always wants the ball, always wants to score and that is what makes him such a good player." i leaned over and whispered to Bryan, "just like in life, huh?" the funniest part is that later on that night i asked Bryson if he heard what the coach said about him and bryson said, "not really - i wasnt really listening" HAHAHAHA!

yes - that is a leaf that we stuck in his helmet...he was actually very happy about it...dont let his bodie face fool you! this was taken up in san jose over thanksgiving - we were able to spend a whole week up there (if i am lucky another post to come)

bodie is so funny. his new thing to say is "I'm just hungry" - we hear it about 500x a day. and he usually is. the kid is eating like crazy - do you know he only weighs 3 pounds less than bryson? and he is gaining on him! bodie is doing awesome on his "new" bike. he also loves his scooter. we ride them just about every day to walk bryson to school. he gets very sad when bryson tries to turn it into a race though.

bodie is loving the Jesse Tree and bryan and I are getting a kick at seeing how much he is retaining -"Who made the earth Bodie?" and he will reply in his deep cute little voice "God" 

he turns 3 on Christmas Eve and i cant believe that 3 years have gone by since he was born. always will be the best Christmas ever!

Advent

it has been a while...i think a month...and i really missed writing in this space. i enjoy the process and there is a lot that i intend to get written down...but sadly i haven't gotten around to it. and its not that things are crazy busy either. perhaps the opposite. our lives slowed down a bit to breathe and we are all resting in that exhale right now.

because our business is so seasonally different we know that we need to take the winters to breathe and re-cooperate and enjoy the down time. we are still working a lot, but trying to take an afternoon (or two) off. or a long lunch date. or a trip to disneyland during the week. or just long walks as a family because we can right now.

i have also realized these past few years that i am in control of the family calendar pretty much - i think that it is pretty standard that wives assume this duty...maybe because our brains are like computers and we can store conflicting data in there at the same time...men's brains are like calculators...that was a total gross generalization, but in my experience this is true...doesnt mean we are smarter...just better multi-taskers. anyway - because i have a highly advanced brain, i keep the family calendar. and so in this calendar-keeping business i have realized that if i plan too much for one day...or one week...or one weekend...the whole family suffers. i really try to keep balance and am getting much better at saying no. It has helped tremendously since we keep a google calendar that we can both edit and it goes to our phones. i can see when he has auditions and golf classes with bryson etc etc etc and keep it all in mind when trying to navigate our months.

this is just what i am in the process of learning...please do not mistake me that i have it figured out...my husband will readily laugh in your face if you suggest that. this is more like a reminder to myself that this is the right track and go with your gut...if you feel like its going to be too much...it probably is.

so all this silly business to say...this advent has been such a wonderful season so far.

we got a kickstart to the season right after Thanksgiving. we got our tree and put up the lights and the boys helped me decorate...a little...and bobby helped destroy just about everything at ground level. i wouldnt expect anything less.

our evenings have been amazing. i think anyone who has known me this past year can be surprised at this statement because our bedtimes have been a couple thousand notches less than stellar for a while. around 4 my kids get possessed by the devil and then we eat around 5 and they complain about the food the whole time and then they run around like maniacs until  story time at 7 and bedtime at 7:30 when we start the awful process of torturing them with a tooth brush and tucking them in. it wasnt like that every night, but it felt like it and i would have nightmares about putting my kids to bed. literally...i dreamt about it like every night for a week at one point...isnt that horrible?

anyway - since we started advent season there has been a shift for sure. our routine after dinner is a lot more structured - we eat and then clean up...bath time and then the boys run around outside and look at the Christmas lights. then its bobby bed time. after bobby goes to bed we do the Jesse Tree - they hang the ornament, we read the Bible, talk about the story a little, re-cap on all the ornaments we have done and then the boys color a coloring page. my girlfriend suggested that part and it has been a big success. they color for like a half an hour and dont fight. that is amazing to me.

it makes the bed time so much easier since things are so structured. i am NOT a structured person and i doubt that once the advent season is over that i will be able to keep something up like this, but for now - i am loving it.

but i think i would be fooling myself if i pinned it all on the routine. it has a lot to do with my attitude and state of mind. i am realizing how powerful my attitude is on my whole family. how i have the power to change the tides with a simple change in perspective. part of this is done by God's grace and the other part is done by coffee.

i think that the advent season is so important for us as a culture and it has been for us as a family to take time out to wait and breathe and enjoy all the blessings from the past year. i hope that you are able to take some time out to drive around the block and look at the pretty lights...or have hot chocolate as often as you can...or light a fire whenever the temp drops below 60...merry Christmas!
xoxo
Carlee